How To Not Let Rejection And Heartbreak Affect Your Self-Worth
When you go on a date with a guy who is head over heels in lust with you, it gives your self-confidence a lift. You feel a little more attractive – you check yourself out in that glass window, and walk like Blake Lively struts down the red carpet, with Ryan Reynolds looking admiringly at her. Suddenly, you begin to make little alterations in your appearance, style, and choices – to seek his validation. He likes nude lip shades on you, so you keep your favourite bubble gum pink lipstick away. At some point, he mentioned that he likes the colour red, so you dig out every outfit you have in that shade. Why? Because when he appreciates you, it elevates your perception of yourself.
So what happens when he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? Rejection looks like the guy who gets you in a situationship with him, the one who ghosts you or that one who broke up with you. And when you’re rejected, your self-worth comes crashing down with his disapproval. Why do we associate our sense of self with another person? It hasn’t done any good for anyone because life isn’t a bed of roses. You won’t always meet guys who will adore you. All of us have been there. But we pick ourselves up and refuse to let that happen again and you should too. Here’s how to not let rejection make you lose your self-worth.
Know that his perception of you doesn’t define you
I am a millennial but I do not always like the way our generation dates. We like instant gratification and when it comes to dating, most people don’t even give it time. People judge too much and too soon. Like okay, I got upset over something, but it doesn’t mean I will fight with you over everything. Or yes, I like commitment, but I won’t ask you to marry me the first time we have sex. What he thinks of you depends on where he comes from and doesn’t define you. It’s okay if he doesn’t see you as his leading lady. It only means he is not your hero because he who is, will get you without you having to try.
Don’t over analyse why he doesn’t feel the same way about you
All of us have done that, haven’t we? Those endless conversations we had with our besties, breaking down every sentence he has ever said to us, and trying to figure what went wrong. It is taking us nowhere. We just lie down wide awake at night, re-reading our texts and mentally dissecting ourselves for every bit of flaw we can think about. There’s no point in breaking your confidence like this. Ask him if you really want to know, or just move on.
Know your worth and love yourself
None of us are perfect. And yes, we may have made some mistakes – like being too possessive in the start and scaring him away. Or got drunk and made a mess. Take feedback where you must, there’s nothing wrong with it. But know when to shrug it off and be like ‘bow down to the queen’. Love yourself fiercely and don’t let a guy lessen it.
It’s okay to feel hurt and angry…accept your emotions
Yes, it’s normal to feel hurt when rejected. You may even be angry at him but the guy is not always an asshole for rejecting you. We are all wired differently, and not every key fits every lock. So accept those feelings but don’t dwell on all that negativity. Take a deep breath and let it go when you’re ready.
Remember, it’s all about choices so don’t get bitter about dating
You’re not undateable and neither are all guys jerks. Don’t let these experiences make you bitter because when you meet the guy who is perfect for you, it will all feel worth it. Instead of getting bitter, we have to be strong and safeguard our self-worth and keep going!