7 Reasons Why I Can’t Remain Interested In A Guy If I Don’t Feel Respected
When we meet someone and they see us for our faces and our bodies, we don’t know how it will turn out to be. He loves your smile, your hair, and the curves of your body. He even loves the way you talk, your personality, and how fun you are. His friends begin to like you too and suddenly, he sees you as this magnificent woman who has taken his heart and hormones and swept him off his feet. He treats you like a queen, with respect and gentle admiration. You love the way he is with you and you fall for him.
You let your guard down and are as crazy about him as he seems to be about you. But eventually, you realise that things aren’t as smooth as they appeared initially. Familiarity breeds contempt and sometimes, disrespect. When you know someone’s flaws, annoying habits, and vulnerabilities too closely, it’s possible to take them for granted or not be mesmerised by them anymore. However, when there isn’t enough respect, love can just not survive. At least, I cannot stay interested in a man if he doesn’t respect me. And I am not talking about using polite words. Respect in relationships means so many other things that actually oil the wheels of your connection.
I feel it’s important to respect yourself and know when to chin up and walk out. Respect is the difference between missing someone and wanting them. I may like him, miss him even, but do I want him? Not quite. Love gets crushed when there is no respect and it is as crucial as love. Here’s the role respect plays in a relationship.
1) It’s the foundation of everything
It’s often the lack of respect that makes couples diss each other, resent each other, and commit adultery. Without it, how will you build trust and a healthy relationship?
2) He will resolve conflicts better
I have seen couples fighting unfairly and over unfair things. We hurl insults at each other and play the blame game until it gets really ugly. But a couple who has mutual respect resolves conflicts with compassion and as a team. That’s the only way to make amends.
3) He will not dismiss or ridicule my feelings
More than the thing that bothered me, it’s having my feelings dismissed that turns me off more. Like if I am telling you that I didn’t like it, how much of ego does it take for you to completely brush it aside? A man who respects you will acknowledge your feelings and make sure to respect them…even if he doesn’t agree. Next time you feel hungry, please tell yourself that you’re wrong and then starve, would you?
4) He will respect that position that I occupy in his life and treat me accordingly
I hate it that most men come to you, invite you into their lives, and they just don’t know how to treat you. I am a priority and that’s how your actions should say. If I occupy a certain place in your life, please don’t treat me like I mean nothing. It doesn’t make me feel respected neither does it make me want to respect you.
5) He will treat me as an equal
If he respects me, he will see me as an equal. It doesn’t matter if he earns more than me or has a better paying job. He won’t make my career sound like a hobby or my intellect like it’s pea-sized. He will not feel entitled because he owns a dick and my orgasms would be just as important as his. All this comes with respect. I don’t want to be with someone who behaves like he is Gulliver stuck with a Lilliputian.
6) He’ll know the value I bring to his life
You can see the change in his life and his demeanour ever since you came into his life. He seems happier, at peace, and more motivated. But somehow, none of this is visible to him. He doesn’t understand that you are good for him. If he respected me enough, he would also appreciate the value I bring to his life and he would be afraid of losing me.
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7) Not being respected by your partner can hurt your self-esteem
In the end, it’s really about how you feel about yourself. It hurts to not be respected enough and what’s worse is that you feel like a loser for continuing to be interested in him. So don’t. Know what you deserve and walk out. You have to respect yourself even if he doesn’t respect you. *drops mic*