People Reveal Signs That A Man Is Emotionally Unavailable. They Speak From Experience
Some days, I just don’t feel like being very accommodating. My mind goes like, “Hey, you, emotional wreck, stop messing with people.” Other days, when I have my empathetic mode on, I understand that people who are emotionally unavailable have had psychological experiences that made them withdraw into a shell. Maybe its roots are in childhood and the formation of the attachment style back then, which again wasn’t in their control. Maybe they dated too many emotionally unavailable people and became one to protect their hearts. I get it. There have been phases of my unavailability too.
The hope is that eventually, with newer lessons, they will realise that it doesn’t benefit them or the people they date. Hopefully, they will take charge of their personal growth and feel ready to emotionally invest in someone. But if you happen to catch them before that, you’ll possibly just be a lesson for them, at the most. And they might be the lover-turned-emotional-vampire in your story. I’d like to believe it’s just bad timing; needless to say, I am in the empathetic mode RN.
Having said all of that, in no mode, I would sign up for a charity case, wherein I am babysitting a man who is emotionally unavailable and voluntarily donate blood to this emotional vampire. I am not selling my soul for a few good orgasms. It’s like offering yourself to a cannibal because aww, the poor guy is hungry. Self-preservation is important. I don’t think emotionally unavailable men are evil, bad human beings who are out there to destroy you. But they do. And I’d wish them recovery but from a distance or as a friend.
So when someone asked on the ‘AskMen’ forum on Reddit for the signs that a man is emotionally unavailable, I knew I had found treasure.
They are not curious about your life
“They don’t ask questions about you. They are not curious about you. They do not extend themselves for you in a way that could be considered mutual appreciation (Outside the bedroom.) They are not responsive to your perfectly ok and reasonably expressed needs,” a user wrote. If at this point, your parlour wali didi seems more interested in your life than him, this is definitely an emotionally unavailable guy.
They could be a secret agent, for all you know
“You’ve never met their roommate or friends in general, they don’t bring up any future plans with you, being busy happens to be a regular excuse as to why they don’t treat you right, only available when it’s convenient for them, vague in their response when asked about commitment, obtain a girlfriend approximately 4 days after ghosting you,” a user accurately pointed out. What do you know about him except his name, his alcohol dependency, and that he prefers doggy style?
Deep topics give them the chills
“Refusing to or skirting around deep topics. Avoiding talking about their family and personal history. Giving one word answers without developing a fleshed out thought- especially with questions that require more than a yes or no answer,” a user explained. The conversation with him is so shallow, you develop special respect for your 10-year-old nephew who has more emotional range than a 27-year-old man.
Consistency and they have never co-existed
“Inconsistencies between their words and their actions. For example ‘I miss you so much’ but then canceling plans regularly. Refusal to take responsibility for their actions,” a user pointed out. Consistency and this guy are like Rachel’s parents at her birthday party. They must stay under different roofs, at all costs. Emotionally unavailable guys consider this man their lord.
Your needs are none of their concern
“They simply don’t care about your needs. This could mean interest as a whole but you can feel it when someone just isn’t available for you and sometimes anyone,” a user said. Another user added, “They might flirt with you just enough so that they know that you like them, but they never commit or try to take it further.” Every confrontation ends up in you being gaslit to believe you’re too emotionally dependent. And they leave no opportunity to drop by the fact that you both are not in a relationship so they are not responsible for your emotional needs. Well, two nights ago, you were responsible for their orgasms, but never mind that. This man is emotionally unavailable, without a doubt.
They leave you guessing
“Having to ask this question,” a user pointed out. “If you do start thinking about someone and have to ask yourself if they’re emotionally unavailable, the majority of the time you’re asking yourself that because there is something that you have picked up on in their behaviour (consciously or subconsciously) that has made you doubt that,” he added. A guy who is emotionally invested in you will not leave you guessing; you will know for sure.
ALSO READ: I Broke Up Because My Relationship Was Good, Not Great. Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Settle For A Relationship That Doesn’t Excite You
If Siri seems more emotional than them
“Unfortunately though some people just are total npcs through and through. I know a guy who I swear is just an AI desperately trying to emulate human behavior, he’s completely uninteresting and has really limited emotional range, but yk he’s chill so whatever. Still a good guy,” a user explained. Did she date my ex? If it feels like any moment he will tell you he’s not human and his parents adopted him after his motherboard passed away in a technical lab, run. Vicky from Small Wonder had more feelings than this emotionally unavailable man!