6 Times You Must Not Give Relationship Advice To Your BFF No Matter How Close You Are!
No matter how much we hate being given unsolicited advice, we are all guilty of having done it ourselves. It’s so tempting to go out giving wisdom, especially when our BFF is feeling rather confused. Because you know, it makes you feel smarter and sharper and somehow more in control. You are probably invested in your best bae’s love story and you feel entitled to make it an interactive viewing experience. However, can we leave that to Netflix’s Black Mirror: Bandersnatch?
Your BFF needs your support, not relationship advice. At least not at all times. Unless it calls for an intervention. As an adult, she should be able to make decisions, without the influence of other people’s opinions. So know when to back off. Here are six times your bestie doesn’t need relationship advice from you.
1) Whether she should say ‘yes’ to him
Unless you both are going as a package, we feel the decision is best left to your BFF. Your opinion of him shouldn’t cloud her senses. Maybe he is not your type, but is exactly the kind of guy she needs.
2) Is she ready?
We often unknowingly end up pressurising our close friends into doing things according to the norms. So what if it’s only been a few months since she broke up with her ex? Let her decide if she has healed from it or not. If you feel it’s too soon, hate to break it to you, but everyone heals at their own pace. On the other hand, it doesn’t matter if she feels she isn’t ready to have sex with him yet, even though they’ve been dating a while. To each her own?
3) On deal breakers
Each one of us have deal breakers; and we have things that we can let go of. As her bestie, it’s tempting to tell her ‘I’d never take that shit’, but hey, is it about you? It may be okay for her to spend time with her bae just during weekends. Maybe you need more. But who are you to advise her against something if it floats her boat?
4) On expectations
Okay, so your bae buys you flowers every month, gets you chocolates when you’re sick. While we believe it’s really great for you, it’s quite unnecessary to put these expectations in your bestie’s head. It’s possible that their relationship has a more practical kinda romance. You know, like he motivates her to not skip her workout or helps her make her monthly budget. If she is happy, she doesn’t need to mimic your expectations.
5) On traditional roles
The society we live in already tends to tell us what to do and what not to do. Your bae doesn’t need you to be the judgemental aunty, right? You shouldn’t advise her on the roles both of them should play in their relationship. It doesn’t matter who does the dishes. Or who should be taking the lead when it comes to planning. As long as it’s done, and they are cool with it, let them do it their way.
6) Should she break up?
Have you ever been mad at your BFF because you had told her much in advance that it’s time for her to break up, but she stretched it out? It may seem unnecessary to you but unless she is convinced that it’s over, your advice really won’t matter.