The Wokeboi’s Guide To Consent
Wokeboi Varun Patra, as the good folks on Twitter call him, recently apologised for recording a woman during sex. And get this, he did not know that it was wrong to record sex without consent. You’d think he would know better, but you’d think wrong. Of course, by now he has realised his mistake. It’s amazing how quickly people see the error of their ways when the threat of exposure looms large. The woman who outed him has chosen to be anonymous.
In his “apology”, eloquently typed out on Whatsapp, he wrote that it was the only way he could prove that casual sex was consensual and prevent a fake #MeToo allegation. So, the logic here is that he only violated a woman’s trust during sex to have proof that she agreed have sex with him in the first place.
But, we get it. It can get confusing if you’re a man and have no idea what consent looks like. Because it’s so difficult especially when you are handicapped by your tone-deafness when it comes to sex and all matters related to it.
If you like Varun are still wondering what consent looks like despite your very ‘woke’ status, here’s a guide, that could help.
Wokeboi question: So she can go on a date with me and come back to my room/home but not do it?
Yes. And it doesn’t matter whether it is a hotel room, your bedroom or even if she’s sitting on your bed. Coming back to your place is not an invitation to have sex.
Wokeboi question: How come we only do it when you are in the mood? You say no but what if I say yes?
Answer: You know what, you can say no too. It’s like your choice. Totes! We promise we will respect it. But because consent is important, both of us have to be in the mood. Allow us to break it down for you. If she’s in the mood for dessert but you don’t want it, she doesn’t shove it down your throat, right? That’s consent right there.
Wokeboi question: I know what ‘No’ means. But, what if she says maybe?
Answer: Cool question. But, you know what, maybe is still not yes. We suggest you wait for a full blown yes. (No pun intended at all!) Oh, and she will be giving you cues, so pay attention to those. For example, if she’s looking disgusted and looks away, that means ‘no’. It’s not confusing.
Wokeboi question: Speaking of full blown, why this yes for intercourse, no for oral? What’s up with that?
Answer: That’s preference. She is ok with oral, you are ok with BDSM. Look, you’ve to ask, like a gentleman. Find out what’s she’s comfortable and don’t push boundaries during the sesh. That’s stupid.
Wokeboi question: So should I keep asking for consent before, during and after? Come on, can’t I assume some things are ok?
Answer: Sure. If you know her and have a history. Better ask if you don’t ,or better yet don’t do anything we wouldn’t like. For example, recording the act or stealthing or worse, transmitting an STD! Not cool bro. Not cool at all.
We hope this guide for dummies has made you more aware. Let us know in the comments if you get confused again.