5 Orthodox Reasons Why Women Face Rejection In Marriage In India Even Today
I had a friend staying with me for the past couple of days, travelling from Mumbai to Delhi, to meet her boyfriend’s parents, to as they call it – seal the deal and tie the knot. They have been dating for a good three years and experienced each other’s company and support in both good and bad times. They have been going strong and felt it was finally time to get the families involved. Of course, they knew it beforehand that it wasn’t going to be easy, considering they weren’t a conventional couple, but who is these days, right?
We would think, this being the 21st century and all, the times are changing, women have more agency now and parents are finally opening up to the idea of looking beyond stereotypes. But we’d be horribly wrong. Because not only are we still stuck in a run-of-the-mill kind of a thinking, but we are just as prejudiced, orthodox and superficial when it comes to choosing a wife for the men in our family. And I say this, after having witnessed first hand, just how much a strongly opinionated alpha woman can threaten the pride and honor of a typical Indian family.
Suddenly, a relationship that the two had been nurturing for the past three years, was reduced down to a very black and white conversation with the parents, who sat with little perspective but a lot of expectation. And that is perhaps why, we feel that no matter how much the times change, the modern day woman of today is still likely to get rejected for marriage for these five very flawed reasons.
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Who knew that the same parents who when we’re little, teach us the meaning of ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’, will end up judging women on how fair, beautiful and lovely they are, selecting them on the basis of their complexion, size and height? Because after all, all they care for is beautiful grandchildren, and isn’t that what wives are brought in for?
Now, it is true and to an extent fair, that every parent when getting involved in the decision of choosing a life partner for their kid, would always want the two to lead a financially secure life. And while to us that would mean earning enough to sustain a happy and content life together, for most of the Indian families, it is code for the girl to be bringing in dollops of cash in form of dowry, because that is all marriage is to them, a transaction.
From girls getting pestered to start getting married as soon as they hit their 20s to creating a rather unreasonable hype for the ones who don’t, the Indian mentality doesn’t believe in age just being a number. It in fact, is a quotation to negotiate on, and would rather get their sons married to someone a decade younger, than letting him marry a woman 2 years older. Talk about double standards..
It’s hard to steer clear of this topic when it’s India we’re talking about, because if there is one phenomenon that is enough to rile the entire population all at once, it is religion. With a strong dissent for inter-caste and inter-religion marriages spread across the country, chances are that if you’re not one of them, or at least willing to convert, there is no room for you left!
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