Signs Your Breakup Is Long Overdue. Your Relationship Has Become Stale And Toxic
I normally tend to give it my all when it comes to relationships. I don’t give up easily. Also, to be honest, that works as a brilliant breakup trick. By the time you actually breakup, you are just so done and over with things that moving on is a piece of cake for you. I move on when I know I am ready. In fact, I move on, bit by bit, while being disappointed every time he opens his mouth.
And no matter how shitty things get, I remember that I deserve better and it will get better. The thing is when you have self-love, you will also have the motivation to walk away from a stale romance. I know, practically speaking I should have broken up much before I did in most relationships. But it’s how I roll. It’s okay to wait till you’ve really given up from your heart. But breakup before it breaks you. Here are signs that your relationship has gone beyond its expiry date.
You’re always fighting. Breakup alert!
Every couple fights but if that’s all you do, maybe it’s time to sit down and sort out your issues. Or there will be an explosion one day – which is good too – and you will have to face the real issues. But if all the effort has been made and you still hate each other’s guts, it seems like the love is gone.
You feel irritated with things you’d normally be okay with
Honestly, if you resent someone, you will be annoyed at everything they say or do. Like they may buy you flowers and you will be like, “What the fuck does he think? Buying flowers to compensate for his shitty behaviour!” I am not saying he is the nicest guy ever. But you’d have far more compassion for someone you love and respect than you have for him making mistakes. Maybe he has made enough of them. Maybe you are out of patience. But for things to work out, you will have to get compassion back. If you don’t want to, chances are you want a breakup.
You prefer spending time alone than with him
I remember in Sex And The City, Samantha compared her relationship to cancer and that’s when she realised that she is suffocating in it. If spending time with him feels like a chore and you’d pick the annoying co-worker over him, oh boy, this is it. Cuddle with him or sleeping alone? If you choose the latter, your relationship has already gone to the dogs.
You’ve started bitching about him with your friends
This is the final straw. I never bitch about my partner to my friends and family. I understand that we feel very strongly for our loved ones and it’s natural for them to dislike your partner if you tell them one-sided tales of your fights. They won’t see his imperfections compassionately. So if you have started bitching extensively about your boyfriend, chances are you don’t see him lasting too long. You already know a breakup is around the corner.
There’s no physical intimacy with him anymore
Can you sleep with the enemy? Resentment can kill the strongest of libidos. He could have a perfect body and stand in front of you naked. You could be sex-deprived for a while. But his attitude turns you off so bad. You’d rather indulge in DIY orgasms than have sex with him. You’re just not in the mood for it. And whenever it has happened, it seems half-hearted, your orgasms not that great (if any) and post-sex, you feel sadder. It’s your body telling you that you are over him and a breakup is bound to happen.
You feel like you should explore other options like the breakup has happened
There is a feeling of being trapped in a relationship you don’t want. You want to break free. Maybe you have already started flirting with other men. Maybe you are not doing it yet but desperately wanting to. Or maybe, you just feel you will be better off single. Either way, this relationship is suffocating you and you are seeking to break free.
Breakup is inevitable if you don’t see any scope of improvement
Do you feel things can improve? Or each time he says he will change, you get amused? If you feel things can change, there’s scope. But if you have given up on him, on the relationship, and on the love you had for him, a breakup is on the horizon. Here’s how to move on.