Men Get Candid About Whether Looks Matter While Dating. You Will Want To Read This
Online dating is very similar to online shopping. When you feel like getting yourself a dress, you look up, add some to the cart before settling down on one. Sometimes, you end up discarding all because after staring at it for a while you are like, it’s pretty but wouldn’t suit you or be how it looks in the pictures. What do we do in online dating? Browse through several images of people, adding them to your matches only to discard most or all of them later. When we go about dating purely on the basis of looks, how do we expect it to work? Do looks matter? Yes, you should like what you see. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and who you find attractive talks a lot about who you are.
For the longest time, we’ve been deeming men as more shallow when it comes to looks. And I wouldn’t say that category of men has gone extinct. You put up a hot picture on your story, your phone will keep notifying you of messages from shallow men. These men will not stop to look at your picture when you are dressed modestly. But that is also the reason such men find it hard to get a long-term partner and they keep DMing female acquaintances they’ve known for years.
The men worth considering are those who know what is important. I will not say physical attraction means nothing. But what are you attracted to? Do you expect your girlfriend to be a tall woman with spider-long legs, an hourglass figure, no body hair, and flawless skin? Then with all due disrespect, you are an asshole, sir.
Turns out, men are not so shallow. When someone raised this question on Reddit, the answers weren’t disappointing. “I was talking with my brother last night and he said looks were a little more important to him than anything else. And since I’ve been dating this girl for almost a month, it got me thinking as well. She’s not your stereotypical hot girl. (Tan, long legs, boobs, blonde or brunette hair, nice face, good body etc) She’s got a couple extra pounds kinda every where which is fine and I actually have grown to like it. But her personality is great, we have the same sense of humor, same taste in music, super sweet etc So I was just wondering where you guys fall into this. Is there a tipping point on the looks to everything else scale? At what point could you just not overlook her looks?,” the user wrote.
Ugh, it’s annoying when the shallow ones end up making the ones with their head in the right place doubt everything they believe. Thankfully, men of Reddit came forward to tell him what really does matter.
It’s not always about her weight…
“If your attracted to her body, then she’s hot, end of. Everyone’s perception of their partner is theirs alone and outside opinions should not matter,” a user wrote. “I say for me personally, in a relationship you want personality to be the base and looks to follow. I wouldn’t suggest you date some who you are repulsed by but I would suggest you find someone who you enjoy being around that meets your standards of attraction. Who cares if your friends don’t find them attractive, it’s about you at the end of the day,” another guy agreed.
Of course, you should be attracted to your partner. It doesn’t matter if someone else finds them attractive or not. Which is why it sucks when you send each other your crush’s pictures seeking validation from your friends. “Ooo dude, she/he is hot’ is the answer people want! But why? Are you dating them or your friends? Do you get your chaddis approved from your peers?
Several people said there’s no point in going for purely looks because those change. “I know the human body well enough to know that looks don’t last long. I’d rather be with someone not perfect physically that I’m compatible with in other ways,” a guy pointed out.
“This is important. My husband and I met and fell in love young and at the time we were both average at best. We both got objectively better looking in our early to mid 30s. But to me he was as hot as he ever was and the same for him with me. Now we are headed toward 40 and it’s all starting to fade. I have a line or 2 in my face. He’s got a dad belly but it hasn’t changed anything between us. We still love and crave each other. The issue with looks is that it is the only thing about another person that is 100% certain to change. Also in my experience after a decade or so together you see all of them reflected in their appearance anyways. Their kind or bitter heart. Their short temper or amazing sense of humor is what you see first,” a woman explained.
It’s true. When you are with someone, you don’t see them for their eyes, nose or lips. I tend to like a guy for what reflects in his appearance – the way he laughs freely even though it gives him ugly lines, the way his eyes reflect his feelings even though his face doesn’t, and manners. This is what makes me find a guy attractive and not muscles, flawless skin or abs. And when you love someone, you find them attractive. Years down the line, whether you gain weight or wrinkles or lose hair, you still make them go crazy. I still remember when I asked this guy I was dating what he finds sexy in me, he said my kindness and how I encourage him. My heart melted right there and I will remember this! No wonder we had the best chemistry!
“Obviously, this is very subjective. For some men, looks is a complete deal-breaker, and they are happy to date a women with an abhorrent personality, or even a women who cheats, as long as she is hot enough. IMO, this will never be beneficial in the long-term,” a user wrote. Damn right!
“At the end of the day, you become blind to looks after dating someone for a while anyway. By blind, I don’t mean that you no longer see the beauty in them, but rather, in the same way that you see a friend who you have known for years – you don’t look at them and identify the individual physical characteristics that comprise them, you just see a package of ‘them’, as oppose to when you first meet someone and think “wow they have great legs” or “her nose is huge!”, etc.,” a guy summed it up perfectly.
But age changes things…
Thankfully, even shallow guys eventually learn to prioritise what’s important. “Honestly, as I’ve gotten older my opinions have changed. As a young guy, looks mattered more than anything else. Nowadays, if I don’t like being around someone and truly enjoy their company, then I simply don’t find them romantically attractive. Not saying physical attraction doesn’t matter at all, but if a girl is a smoke show but sucks as a human then it’s a definite “no” from me,” a user wrote.
This makes me so happy. The world isn’t as shallow as it appears to be. If a guy is attracted to you just because of your looks, don’t go for him. If a guy isn’t attracted to you because you don’t fit his beauty standards, don’t cry over him. Love yourself and the right guy will love you for you and not your body.