Why We Get Upset When The Guy We Had Sex With Turns Out To Be A F**kboi
I really wish sometimes that sex came sans the feelings and complications. Why shouldn’t we be able to enjoy the sheer physical pleasure of mating? The way an orgasm is born in our bodies and makes us, for that brief moment, forget everything else is pure bliss. Why can’t that bliss remain unadulterated? Imagine, going to that fuckboi’s house, getting your fair share of orgasms and walking out not giving two hoots about the questionable nature of the guy you just slept with. Picture not giving a fuck about the guy who was so much into you in the start of your canoodling phase and then just deciding he doesn’t want it anymore. Of course, there are several people who are living the thug life and I believe they must be feared by one and all. I want to be as relentless as them but here I am, just half there in not giving a fuck. Or am I kidding myself? Can’t tell.
Why do we get upset when a guy we liked and slept with turns out to be an asshole? The sex was great, wasn’t it? So when it is all over, several women feel used and/or they need to get in the shower. I mean, it hurts even when you had not slept with the guy, but it just feels worse when you did. It baffles me. And thankfully, I have sworn off fuckbois, casual sex and dating apps. Therapists may call it shutting down, but I call it self-preservation. I am just being honest about how skilled I am at handling casual sex and with a fuckboi.
Have you ever felt upset after having sex with a guy who turned out to be an asshole? Here’s why it happens.
In retrospect, it feels icky
The ick factor is real! Do you remember the episode when Monica slept with a minor in Friends? You know, how he lied to her that he is above 18 and she told him she was younger. After a night of sex, or when she took his virginity to be specific, he told her he was 17. She found it “icky”. He literally made her a sexual offender and that’s not funny. Plus, after that knowledge, you just can’t not be grossed out. Having a sexual experience with a fuckboi is similar. You feel icky in retrospect and wish you weren’t so grossed out by the very visual memories.
You start doubting your judgement of character
It makes you wonder how you will ever survive in this cruel, tricky world with such poor judgement of character. How can you possibly be smitten by someone who turned out to be a jerk of the highest order? It sucks but don’t be too hard on yourself. Identify and star the red flags. Lessons learnt are not a waste of time. Plus, any of us can make mistakes. Humans are complicated and it’s difficult to predict which one will turn out to be an asshole!
You feel betrayed after showing your vulnerable side
It sucks because in that moment after sex, when you were lying down next to each and having cute pillow talks, you really bared it all. It wasn’t just your body that was naked but also your soul. You opened up, showed him your vulnerable side and he turned out to be a vulture who feeds off it. Damn, it hurts but it’s time to feel bad for others’ actions.
Your self-esteem takes a temporary hit
It makes us feel rejected and that hurts. You start wondering if you are bad at sex, or your personality is repellent. You wonder if you said or did something to turn him off. No, honey. It’s not you, it’s really him. If says this, tell him you agree with him.
You are disappointed because you had hope from this one
Again, it hurts to think that you’ve been so protective of your heart and eventually when you got in the sack with someone, you did it with a fuckboi. How did you have hope from this one? How can you go so wrong? Is there a place devoid of disappointment? You’ll move to that town in an instant, except there is no vaccination for fuckery.