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Watching Porn As A Couple Is Better Than Doing It Alone, Says Study. But Overdoing It Can Cause Problems Too

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There are very gender-specific notions about porn-consumption in India. We tend to believe that almost every other man’s search history is brimming with porn, and women, on the other hand, probably don’t even know where to watch it. That’s far from the truth. The guys I have dated and some of my male besties are not nudity-hungry. Similarly, if you ask your female friends, you will find out many of us do indulge in watching erotic content, every now and then.

Of course, porn isn’t free of ethical issues and I would never ever date a man whose search history includes anything to do with children or violation of consent. I don’t care if he says it’s just a fantasy. It’s gross for a human being to have such fantasies and I’d rather not get in the sack with such people. If it were up to me, I would put them in a list of people the police must keep a close eye on. Yikes.

Apologies for the libido-killers above, this article is about exploring how watching porn affects our relationships. And I am going to take into account only the ethical porn here. There are all sorts of hypotheses out there! Some erotica can help one explore their sexuality and desires. Several others think it can cause a disconnect between partners. Some go a step further and call it cheating!

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy explored the link between porn consumption and intimacy, commitment, and psychological aggression in relationships.

 

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What’s porn-consumption like?

According to the study, only 8.4 % of participants said they watched porn alone “often” while 39.2 % of people said they do it “sometimes”. A whopping 52.4 % of people denied watching porn alone. When it comes to watching it with your partner, only 3.2 % of people said they do it often, 40.1 % of participants said “sometimes” and 56.7 % of people said they don’t do it at all. So most people aren’t watching porn – with or without a partner?

However, if we go gender-specific then most men (58.1%) said they watch porn alone sometimes. Most women, on the other hand, said they don’t with only 29.4 % saying they do it sometimes and 2.9 % saying often.

How does it affect couples?

“Generally speaking, watching pornography alone was related to significantly lower levels of relationship adjustment after controlling for all other variables. Reported increases in watching porn alone over time were associated with a decrease in relationship adjustment and relationship commitment for men,” reports Psychology Today. “However, increases in watching pornography alone over time were associated with increases in women’s relationship adjustment, commitment, and emotional intimacy,” it further adds.

Thank God, the men I dated weren’t watching porn alone then. It’s terrible to see the gender-based discrepancies in the effect porn has on relationships. But here’s the thing, watching porn together has proven to be healthy for couples. “People who reported watching more pornography with their partner reported more relationship intimacy and increases in watching together over time were associated with increases in sexual intimacy,” the study reads.

A word of caution though

It’s important to note that porn-viewing habits – alone or together – did increase psychological aggression in couples. “Both watching alone and watching together were related to higher levels of psychological aggression between partners, with few differences by gender. Implications for sex education, relationship education, and couples therapy will be discussed,” the study reveals.

“While watching pornography can be a fun activity to complement one’s sex life with a partner, watching ‘a lot’ of porn might suggest that certain needs are not being fulfilled in one’s relationship. However, it is not clear whether frequent porn viewing may be taking precedence over spending time with ones’ partner, or a less fulfilling relationship is leading someone to satisfy unmet sexual and intimate needs through pornography viewing,” explains Psychology Today.

ALSO READ:New Study Says Watching Romantic Movies Together Positively Impacts Your Relationship

It further adds, “The authors suggest it may be that for some women, watching pornography could be a result or expression of exploring her sexual desires, sexuality, and sexual agency. In this case, it may not be that she is turning away from a relationship to watch porn, but watching porn may be a personal exploration that could have a positive spillover effect into her relationship.”

It will be good to explore the reasons a couple turns to porn. Is it to learn and explore? Or to fulfil desires that are not satisfied in the relationship? Based on that, the couple may want to make alterations to their relationship that makes it more conducive for personal expression and satisfaction.

ALSO READ:An Online Petition Exposes Pornhub’s Blatant Misuse Of Rape And Abuse Video. This Is Vile And Action Needs To Be Taken

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