Sexting Isn’t About Sex. People Do It For Reassurance From Their Partner, Says Science. But We Didn’t Ever Think It Was
I always felt sex is never just about sex, even when it’s just casual. It’s never just for physical, animalistic pleasure, because we are human beings with complex emotions. A lot of times, it’s really just about intimacy and feeling another person’s warm skin against your body. Sometimes, sex is about making yourself feel good about yourself. Don’t tell me after having a good night of sex, you’re not glowing and don’t have spring in your step. Which brings me to another reason – sometimes sex is a way of dealing with pain. For a lot of people, sex is about authority and that’s the worse reason to have sex. But that’s another story.
Coming back to the point, a new research from the Sexuality, Sexual Health & Sexual Behavior Lab in the Texas Tech University Department of Psychological Sciences has found that most people who sext, do so for non-sexual reasons.
Assistant professor Joseph M. Currin and doctoral student Kassidy Cox revealed that there are three main reasons that people indulged in sexting. Some use it as foreplay, some use it for reassurance and some with the expectation of something non-sexual in return. “It was intriguing that two-thirds of the individuals who engaged in sexting did so for non-sexual purposes,” Cox said. “This may actually be demonstrating some individuals engage in sexting, but would prefer not to, but do so as a means to either gain affirmation about their relationship, relieve anxiety or get something tangible — non-sexual — in return.”
Honestly, I understand subtle sexting, like when you’re just being witty with sexual innuendos. But diving right in is just plain awkward, at least for me. So I wonder why we have to pretend to be sexting for sexual reasons when our motivation isn’t just that.
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I mean, I shouldn’t have to sext to get reassurance from my partner. I would like a cheesy, corny dialogue with my partner once in a while instead, which is like sexting except more about love.