People Opened Up About The Awkward Bits Of Sex. Turns Out, Sex Is Messy And We Gotta Laugh It Off
For two people to have sex, we have to bare ourselves and be comfortable around each other. Sex can be awkward and we know it is nothing like what they show in the movies. The sloppy kisses sometimes make a fart sound and that’s just the start of all the awkwardness that awaits you. Except of course you are so comfy with your partner and yourself that you can just laugh it off.
In fact, I believe the first step to actually achieving that level of comfort in knowing that these things are really common. It’s sex – it has to be messy – there are sounds, fluids, strange positions, and several more things that may feel funny.
But fret not, Redditors shared the awkward parts of sex and believe me – it’s really all of it!
A lot of users pointed out that having sex on a squeaky bed can make things a little awkward, especially you have an audience for it. “The bed noises travel further than expected,” a user wrote.
Another user pointed out that finding your clothes under the sheets and the floor is kinda funny too! It is, indeed but I do find it funny in a cute kinda way. “Trying to find your underwear in the sheets,” the user wrote.
Have you ever wondered what you’re supposed to when he is putting on the condom? Like do you look or do you look away or what? I mean, it can be like there’s a spotlight on him wearing a condom but what else do we have to do in that moment? “That moment when you have to put a condom on and either go look for it when another person is waiting or he just put it and you stare,” a user wrote. I guess it’s awkward for both men and women.
“When you think your period ended two days ago but when the lights come on the bed looks like it’s straight out of a slasher film,” a user wrote. Oh, boy that can happen! And the worse thing is you can’t tell you’re dripping blood because you were already wet when that started. Damn!
“Trying to take pants off while wearing skinny jeans. I have yet to unlock the secret of how to actually make this sexy and it always take me an uncomfortably long amount of time to get them off lol,” a user wrote. So you just lie down and let him take the pants off your ankle. Maybe that will be somewhat sexy.
Another user wrote how dirty talking can be awkward, “When you first start dirty talking.” And someone else agreed, rather vehemently. “Definitely awkward. My husband and I developed this rule where if one of us brings something up the other has to roll with it. You’d be surprised how much dirty talk awkwardness there is solely because you’re not sure if the other person will be receptive to it or not,” they wrote. Well, well, well. Dirty talk is definitely risky territory. But sometimes it can also be funny, especially when you didn’t quite get it. “When they whisper something dirty but you don’t quite catch it and have to go HUH,” a user wrote. I ask once and if didn’t hear, I just give a shy smile and kiss them! Of course, I just hope that I didn’t really unknowingly sign up for something weird in sex!
“Being afraid you’re gonna bounce on a dick wrong and break it in half,” a user wrote. I don’t know how common this is but God, I get scared sometimes! It’s like walking on eggshells when you’re dealing with a dick because you don’t want to accidently injure him!
Speaking of accidents, I literally never let my boyfriend get his hands anywhere close to my vagina before checking with him if he has washed them. You know because I really don’t want the olives and jalapenos to set my loins on fire. But it does happen because people forget and I’d say, just never! “My boyfriend and I both cook for a living. This happened a few years ago at the beginning of our relationship. He had been working and came over to my house after his shift. We were doing our thing and his hands were in my pants, when things started to, uh, heat up. I started feeling a weird tingling down there that I’ve never experienced before. At first I thought it was my head playing tricks on me, then before I could piece together what was actually happening, I threw him off of me. My Hoo-ha was BURNING. As I was sprinting to the bathroom I thought, “Wait, I know this feeling”,” a user wrote.
She further added, “As I’m straddling the faucet the best way I can, he comes in to check on me. I ask him what kind of peppers he was prepping today. “Oh shit, I cut and pickled like 3 quarts of jalapeños today” My friends called me Pepper Pussy for the rest of that summer. Please make sure the capsaicin is off of your hands before you fondle any bits, people!”
Redditors were surprised to know that these things are so common! And of course, there’s so much more – random farts, queefs, going to pee in the middle of it, etc. “In this thread, literally every minor detail of sex. Apparently all of sex is awkward,” a user wrote. “Literally all of it. The grotesque of the human form. But it’s all fun if you don’t take yourself seriously,” another person agreed. So I guess we have to just let the awkwardness go and be okay with all those funny things that happen during sex!