People Have Been Pre-Dating Before Going On Offline Dates. Here’s Why It’s A Good Idea
Excuse me but I often compare modern dating to shopping, especially because we go through a plethora of options, only to discard most of them. Sounds brutal but how many guys you met online actually ended up being a significant person in your life? We try a person on and if it doesn’t work, we go on with a search. When I go shopping, I reject several clothes (mostly because I can’t afford them!) but until I find a dress that makes me feel like ‘yes, I need this!’ I don’t buy it. My heart should go to the dress and I should be restless without it in my life. How can I go for a man, just for the hell of it? I am a pricey dater and I like it that way. Pre-dating or virtual dating sounds like the thing for me.
This also means that I guard my time and effort, fiercely. Honestly, I barely have enough to do the things I like, to meet the people I like. I find it really a waste of time and effort to meet someone for a coffee date where I am more interested in my Irish latte than his aunt Irene.
In the pandemic where we don’t go out as often, it is even crazier to invest time in a dumbfuck. Thankfully, the lockdown taught us how to accomplish things online and save our effort of having to wear something fancy. It has made me incredibly lazy and I have lost my will to wear anything that is not loungewear. The best thing? Pre-dating! Turns out, millennials have been investing in having online video dates before having a real one. You know, how you have several rounds of a job interview.
“Indians now go on ‘pre-dates’, where they explore virtual dating for the first time. They use video dates to get to know one another before meeting IRL (in real life),” remarked Samarpita Samaddar, Bumble India’s PR director and spokesperson told afaqs.com.
If you ask me, this is a wise move and I’d totally vouch for it. Here’s why I think pre-dating is a good idea.
It cuts through the clutter
When it comes to online dating, you meet someone new and all you have is their chatting style to judge from. We know our texting personality is widely different from our in-person behaviour. He may be funny while texting but be just slightly more interesting than watching paint dry in slo-mo during verbal conversations. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe he is a bad texter. Maybe his images are too filtered and he looks nothing like that. A video date will help you clear the clutter and finally meet only the guys who truly deserve having your waxing appointment be affected by them.
You save a lot of money
If you were to go on a date with every guy you met online, it would not just be tedious but also poverty inducing. Nope. Save all that money for a night out with your friends. Stay home and spend money only on the guy who is worth it.
You’re taking your time
“Video dating also extends the process of getting to know someone in what biological anthropologist Helen Fisher calls “slow love.” With virtual dates, there is the opportunity to spend more time talking before rushing into a physical relationship,” Liesel Sharabi Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today. This will slow things down and you will be taking time to get to know each other before getting in the sack with each other. I’d say pre-dating is a wise choice.
It will help you focus on the real qualities that matter
“It can give you a better sense of the experiential qualities that make someone attractive in person – like their sense of humor – which means fewer surprises later on,” Sharabi says. When we are on a real-life date, there are several factors influencing our attraction: looks, pheromones, alcohol, and all that. That is fine but it wouldn’t hurt to get to know a guy’s core qualities before being mesmerised by his abs. Is he humourous? Does he care about cats? Is he sexist? Talk without distractions!
ALSO READ: Networking On Tinder, Flirting On LinkedIn And Sexting On LudoKing, Indians Have It All Mixed Up
Virtual daters form a connection before even meeting for the first time
According to a study, “Participants’ reactions were more positive toward individuals whom they had Virtual Dated than toward those whose profiles they had seen, effects that carried forward through an initial face-to-face meeting in a speed date.” It’s likely that you both will skip through the initial awkwardness and connect better on your real first date.