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Men Reveal What Romantic Attraction Is To Them As Opposed To Just Sexual Attraction

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Is it just me or all of this seems inspired by the same movie? This plot has become just too common wherein you’ll start flirting, one thing leads to another, and before you know it, you’re cuddling. While in your bubble of optimistic delusion, you promise yourself you won’t catch feelings but how can you not? It feels so good—sitting on his lap with your arms around his neck, with your gaze breaking only when your eyes automatically shut with every kiss he plants on your lips. Is that romantic attraction? The way he buries his head in your chest, the way you get the soundest sleep in his arms, how your smile is the brightest when he is the reason behind it and how much he affects the way you feel. You get used to his affection, that sweetest look in his eyes, and being his special person. Except that he tells you he isn’t looking for a relationship and as sad as it sounds, you could use more closeness with him.

I feel deeply saddened because unfortunately as strong as I try to be, I know I get used to the affection. And when it’s all done and dusted, and we’re back to pretending it’s nothing, it hurts. It’s like someone took my favourite hoodie away from me and made me a sweater made of sandpaper. I don’t know but so many women tell me their story and it’s awfully similar to this—them being into a guy who is probably really intimate and warm but not interested in them, romantically. At least not enough. I want romantic attraction and not just sexual and I want it to be enough.

So what is the point even? Yes, the orgasms are great but I would rather DIY than have all these anxieties—knowing that the expiry date is around the corner, seeing coldness in the same set of eyes that gave me warmth. Why can’t I enjoy the fun bits and stop wanting real, romantic affection? I ask myself the same thing. I guess like others, I love the warm cuddly happy moments way too much and I don’t have the courage to let them go until I really have to. Until they begin to hurt more than they make you happy until I stop wanting them altogether.

Standing at the edge of my breaking point, I stumbled upon this thread on Reddit wherein men shared how sexual attraction and romantic attraction is to them. And it truly makes me miss the black-and-white division of feelings. Let them be just sexual or let them be passionately romantic. What is this no man’s land where he wants to do you, he likes you but not enough. It’s sadder than you think and you will only know the true depths of the pain when he isn’t there to heal you anymore. Do you want to know what romantic attraction is truly like? Here’s what the men of Reddit revealed!

Romantic attraction is when he wants to make you happy more than horny

“Sexual attraction: your wiener gets hard thinking about having the sex with them. Romantic attraction: your heart beats faster thinking about doing nice things for them in order to make them happy,” a user wrote. It’s not about what will make you horny but more about how to make you smile. I don’t have it but I would want that.

Romantic attraction is when he wants to spend non-sexual time with you

“You want to bone them. But you also want to spend a lot of time and energy with them. You can see yourself happy with them. You want them in your life. You enjoy doing things other than sex. You would introduce them to your family and friends,” another user pointed. When a guy likes you genuinely, he wants you to be a part of his life, he wouldn’t want to keep you a secret.

Romantic Attraction is when he wants to know you more

“When I’m in love with someone sex is the last thing I think about. Instead, I daydream about cuddling with her and want to know her more as a person, see what she likes, what she has to offer, I want to talk with her for hours and do silly jokes in between. When I’m sexually attracted to someone I just want to have sex and leave,” a guy explained. Apart from mapping out the erogenous zones in my body, can you please pay attention to the things that make me happy, my dreams, my rants, etc like I am your fav series on Netflix? Please?

Romantic Attraction is when he thinks about you often

“It’s some kind of euforia, like when you get really good news or archive something great, but I can get that feeling just by seeing them or even thinking about them. And the thing is, almost anything reminds you to that person and you think about them constantly,” a guy said. He further added, “I also must say love is very complicated, and when the person you love doesn’t love you back, or loves you but then you broke up, it can give you the opposite effect. Anything reminds you to them, and when it happens you become completely depressed and angry until you’re able to forget her and move on.” I guess reality hits hard when you’re with someone who doesn’t want you enough to not want to lose you. They don’t think about you and smile. And nothing reminds them of you and guess what? It’s easier for them to let you go and move on.

ALSO READ: 5 Signs Casual Sex Isn’t For You Because You Catch All The Feelings

Romantic attraction remains even post-coitus

“You still want to spend time with them after orgasm,” a user wrote. “Romantic Attraction is the want and desire to talk to them, to want to understand them better of who and why they are. I know that when I am romantically attracted to someone I can’t get them out of my head and my heart beats fast thinking about them because I want to make them happy,” another guy added. Well, I guess real romantic attraction has become rare, or are we looking at all the wrong places?

ALSO READ: Even If You Were Just In A Casual Relationship The Breakup Hurts. Here’s How To Move On

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