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I Couldn’t Orgasm With A Partner For The Longest Time But This One Guy Changed All That

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Making me smile is easy. You give me affection and not be a sexist pig, and I smile from ear to ear. I acknowledge the fact that my standards are terribly low but I live in a country where a non-sexist guy is a rare gem. Making a woman wet is slightly more difficult than that but the average male population is still able to pull that off. It doesn’t require any special skillset to make your girl wet; all you have to do is make out long enough. Making her panties dripping wet is, of course, a level up. But what I have observed is that most guys severely lack in making a woman orgasm department! Now I know it’s not as simple as making a guy come but it’s not like you have to join an army of X-men and plan an entire mission to get it done.

I have never spoken about this before, not even to my best friend. But I am just going to say it: For the longest time I had never had an orgasm with a partner. I just couldn’t achieve it! Have you ever watched those hair trimmer commercials in which women are using it on their hairless hands? And you wonder why plug it in at all (you see what I did here)? Yeah, I felt like that electric device – turned on but for no good.

For the longest time, my sex life looked like I have been giving pro bono orgasms to my boyfriend. We’d make out, I would get dripping wet and he got super erect and things were getting steamier. Except I was responsible to make him come and make myself come (after getting home) because he couldn’t. So technically, I was carrying the entire responsibility of our sex life on my shoulders. He tried but I have seen people put more effort into detangling their earphones.

Now I know better but back then I was young and naïve and he was gaslighting me before we even came up with that term. Okay, I am not writing this story so I can bitch about the guys who couldn’t make me come (fine, maybe a little bit.) But mainly I am writing this because I know there are so many women out there who aren’t able to orgasm with their partner. They end up feeling something is wrong with them. Or just give up on the hopes of receiving this pleasure bomb from their dumbass partners, who act as if finding a woman’s G-spot is as tough as finding the damn infinity stones.

Then I broke up and met a guy who changed the way I looked at sex and intimacy. Okay we never had sex but he could still give me the best orgasms. Here’s what he taught me and I cannot thank him enough for making me more aware of my own body and sexual needs.

1) I realised there are more erogenous zones on my body than I knew about

So many men just assume that the only way to turn a woman on is stimulate her breasts, buttocks and vagina. If your guy is focussing just on these, you know he has a lot to learn. Thanks to this incredible man, I figured that I can shiver with pleasure just by being stroked the right way almost anywhere on my body. From my back and waist to my inner thighs, the pleasure points are plenty. Now I know that I only need a guy who knows how to touch a woman right!

2) He needs to follow the right rhythm and for long enough

Have you ever been so close to coming but the guy decided to change course? Or his fingers didn’t last long enough on your clit? You know when you throw you head back and your know the orgasm is right there and he stops. And then you regret the 10 fucking minutes you dedicated to making him feel like the sole proprietor of orgasmville. But this guy followed the rhythm perfectly and didn’t stop till I came. At that point I could almost hear Rihanna singing ‘Baby, this is what you came for.’

3) But it’s important for you to be more responsive

Even though this guy was crazy good at making my panties soaking wet, the first few times I didn’t orgasm. And I realised two things: I have to feel relaxed and comfortable to get there and that I have to be more responsive so he can figure what pleasures me. The best thing was that we communicated instead of shying away from the subject and he told me that he is not able to figure out my pleasure points because I lay there like a plank. Okay, I had the expressions of satisfaction on my face but like who can read those in the dark? So I started being more responsive and he nailed it and me, quite awesomely!

4) G-spot does exist!

So we got talking about G-spot and we were putting two and two together. Did I mention we spoke a lot even while making out? That’s really sexy, btw! Anyhoo, so he made the effort to look for it and after a few attempts, he found it. He touched me right and with varying pressure and was simultaneously gauging my response to each move. Yeah, can you believe this guy is for real?

ALSO READ: Are You Able To Orgasm Only Through Masturbation And Not With A Partner? Here’s What To Do!

5) I orgasm better when I am not sleepy

Even though he was super good at doing, well, me, I fell asleep in the middle of it. I know orgasms are great but when I am sleepy and tired, I really can’t give a fuck about it. I need my sleep and if that’s all I am thinking of, I can’t think of anything else. Thankfully, he was understanding enough and we did it again, after we woke up.

ALSO READ: Is Your Boyfriend Selfish In Bed? Here’s What To Do About It

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