5 Ways You Maybe Misreading His Romantic Sex Style For Love
Being the one to fall for your casual lover comes with all sorts of problems ranging from minor inconveniences to heart-fucking-breaking events. Are you misunderstanding good sex to be love? You could feel like Iris from The Holiday who is struggling to get over Jasper, who has moved on to possibly younger pastures. There she is, lonely during Christmas, running away from herself. Well, I am gonna tell you what Arthur told Iris in the film and that is, you gotta be the leading lady of your own damn life. Stop being the best friend, the supporting character.
No, no, we can never fail-proof our attempts at romance. There is no guarantee that when you fall for someone they will love you back. But it’s still not a sagacious choice to dive right in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle of dating. And what’s that? Falling for your casual lover, growing to believe that he loves you back, and then having one-sided relationship sex with him.
The problem is that the way humans interacted earlier was different. Things were clearer – if you are looking for something serious, you’d do all the relationship-y things. People who were looking for casual sex didn’t cuddle or spend much time bonding with each other. In fact, where was the concept of situationship? Today, millennials seek connection and even casual sex has become rather romantic. We still want that warmth and affection, so sex isn’t done in all rawness.
So before you start thinking he is being so nice because he is serious about you, let me stop you right there. Nope. Things have changed and you will have to start looking for better ways to find out if he is in love or intends to be. The best one has to be clear communication. Just ask and then take his word for it. But until then, while you are trying to read into his sexual behavior, here are some signs that you absolutely shouldn’t misread as love. Not in today’s times.
They say a guy who loves you will take his time to make love to you. He will not rush through the foreplay or be unbothered about how his touch makes you feel. He will kiss you all over your face, hug you tighter while having passionate sex with you. But honey, none of this spells love. It’s just that he is so damn good at sex and like a decent human being, he is interested in pleasing his partner. He wants to know your erogenous zones because sex is not a charity and you shouldn’t be left unsatisfied. I’d say he is a giver, but he is giving pleasure not love.
The old-fashioned cuddling
Oh boy, they had us fooled for years. Casual lovers refrained from cuddling almost as a rule. But today, sex isn’t about how long a connection will last. It’s just two people, connecting and spending some good time planting kisses on each other’s bodies. After you’ve kissed the fuck out of someone, what difference does cuddling make? Sure, it can make you believe it’s love unless you remind yourself it’s just affection.
Prolonged eye contact
Another thing we’ve been misreading as love for years now is the famous, passionate, heart-warming eye contact. Honestly, I find the right kind of gaze highly arousing. It’s like he can see my soul right through my eyes and touch me in the most seductive manner with just his gaze. That’s sexy, incredibly sexy. But it’s not love. We can still feel emotions for a person without wanting to marry them. Like ‘Damn, he/she’s so magnificent!’ but you just want to bed them, not wed them.
He is kissing all over your face as you lie down in his arms while you watch The Mess You Leave Behind on Netflix. You’re devouring all that suspense, looking at each other each time a twist happens in the plot. And then he distracts you a little with some tickling and before you know it, you’ll are breaking some ribs laughing. It’s affection, yes. But affection doesn’t equal love. He likes you and thinks you are amazing. But love? You have to be in the right phase in your life to fall into that mess voluntarily.
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Post-coitus we tend to feel freer and open to show our vulnerable side. That brings our guard down as we end up talking a lot with bae. You connect, so you tell him all sorts of things. You’re opening up and so is he. And what you share is amazing. But a pillow talk doesn’t have to be love. It doesn’t have to last. It comes with an expiry date and that’s okay.