You Will Be Ready For A Relationship When You Stop Looking For One
It’s so easy, going through life while in a relationship or wanting to be in one. We crave love, intimacy, and connection so much that even Rohit from the accounts department, whose nipples are always poking out from his tight tees, seems attractive. A little depth in his character will make you feel like he is a man who will sing you Spanish lullabies as you fall into a deep slumber lying in his embrace. Except, you talk a little more and he turns out to be as empty as a pack of Lays. Are you really ready for a relationship?
With disappointment in your heart (that you’ve accumulated over the past few years) you move on to the next guy who’d even drop a heart emoji in his texts. It’s fun no doubt; it stimulates you and makes you have a false sense of butterflies in your stomach when it is just your common sense trying to send you an SOS.
It’s really tempting to not face your issues and instead distract yourselves with substandard love affairs that do nothing for your growth. Because who likes being alone? It can be terrifying for people as much as it is lonely. But it also means you will be left alone with your thoughts and inner voice and there’s no escape. No matter how many vacations you take, drinks you gulp down, or people you hook up with, unless you really nourish yourself, you will be stuck in an endless chaos of disappointments.
Heartbreaks aren’t so bad, especially if they lead you to self-discovery. You know, after getting food poisoning from the Chinese stall around the corner, you realise that you are better off without it. Only when you are happy being single and stop seeking a boyfriend, are you actually ready for a relationship. Here’s why.
You are healing
Instead of seeking a relationship, attract it to you without desperation. You don’t have to go hunt for one but open yourself to possibilities. It is quite liberating and I can tell because I have done exactly that. You are working on healing yourself, in whichever way you heal. Work on yourself, put your life together, chase your dreams and not a man. Love will find you all ready and set! It’s time to let go of all that baggage you’ve collected in the past. Only when you are happy with yourself, you can be happy in a relationship. Recognise and work on your fears and insecurities.
You feel more empowered
There is some amount of inter-dependency in a relationship. But when you’re self-partnered, you are learning every day. You are gradually becoming more self-sufficient and determined. In fact, with time, you become better at exercising your autonomy. It’s no more about what people think, it’s about what you think. So when you get into a relationship, you are still that independent woman who will not hesitate to wear bright pink lipstick if she wants to, even if her boyfriend likes nude shades.
Being single doesn’t mean less sex
Meanwhile, your sex life doesn’t need to dry up like my skin in winters. It’s really empowering to understand yourself sexually. Know your needs, your desires, and your dealbreakers. Take this time to find your erogenous zones, new sex positions, and make sure you give yourself enough orgasms. But then again, don’t let anyone tell you whether you should have sex or not. It’s your choice and exercising that choice is empowering enough. Get ready for a relationship full of orgasms!
You learn patience
There will be times when you will feel lonely when you will wish you had someone. Those Saturday nights when all your best friends are busy with their partners, those times when a guy will catch your fancy but he won’t really be there the way you want—these are difficult. But you pour yourself a glass of wine, put on your favourite series, and watch the loneliness fade away. The next morning you will wake up feeling energised and you will thank yourself for not texting that douchebag who makes even drunken sex less attractive. You will learn patience and that’s a skill that will be very helpful in relationships.
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You are making good memories
A study says that single people have more friends and they invest more time and energy in building those bonds. Surround yourself with people who love you and aren’t toxic to you. Family and friends will help you feel at home and loved. You are making memories and these will nourish your soul. A spa is great but a spa date with your bestie is memorable and truly rejuvenating! By the time love finds you, you will be a whole new person. And with all these improvements, you will not fall for a Dick-son who deserves to be left on seen.