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What Nobody Tells You About Finding ‘The One’ In Your 30s

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It’s not easy! As you grow older, you become more set in your ways. You are less malleable in your 30s, compared to the previous decade, and if only because of this, it does become more difficult to find your person. But, this is stuff that everyone tells you. To be honest, life on the wrong side of 30 isn’t all that awful, and neither is finding “the one”.

Yes, your options do decrease. But, it isn’t so much that all the good ones are taken. It is also that you, as a glorious 30-something, also become more picky, and rightly so! You have worked hard to make the life you currently have, and you don’t want to risk jeopardising it. So, you pick carefully. And with this caution comes wisdom. You know exactly what you want, and how you want it. So, you don’t waste time anymore. You are quick to let go, and that’s a great thing!

Because, frankly, in your 30s, you have a lot going on – your work, your fitness regime, your diet chart, your ageing parents, and the close friends who have truly been by your side. So, when you do meet someone worthy, it doesn’t become all-consuming. You love wisely.

But, you are also that much more likely to love eagerly. Especially, if there is family pressure to “settle down”. To be honest, this is the biggest battle of finding the one in your 30s. Because of the wisdom you have gained, you want to take it slow, and let the relationship blossom on its own. At the same time, you are constantly beaten down by other people’s expectations of you to put the sindoor in your maang. This is the true challenge that nobody tells you about – how do you strike the balance?

It is easy to fall for the fantasy for forever after, romanticise it even, when you are young and innocent. That’s what they mean when they say there’s a right age to marry. They mean you are naive enough to make a semi-informed choice. That you’ll spend all your time sipping on wine and whipping up a meal on a lazy Sunday. Reality? It could be you sweating it out alone in the kitchen while your husband catches up on some series, legs crossed, the AC gently lulling him to sleep.

But hey, you don’t fall for the glory of a big, fat wedding, followed by an eternity of walking into sunshine. You have learnt that life doesn’t work like that. But what this struggle of finding your mate a little late in life teaches you, or is meant to teach you, is how to explain it to other people! To not rush into it, heady in love and the romance of it. That may be, just may be, waiting is difficult but worth it.




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