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Struggling With Your Boyfriend’s Female BFF? Here’s How To Handle It Like A Boss Babe

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It may be a generic statement, but most of us are a possessive lot. We love feeling like we are a top priority for our SO. We want to know our boyfriends inside out. It doesn’t matter how frivolous the information is – like his favourite colour or his shoe size – we want to know it all. A shoulder to lean on? A confidante? The best friend he chugs down beers with? We want to be more than a girlfriend. Except that he already has a female best friend who plays the exact role you wanted, minus the romance.

The fact that you clicked on this article means you’re exactly in the situation we described above. You probably feel jealous sometimes, side-lined even. Don’t beat yourself for feeling that way. It’s natural to feel a little threatened when your man has a support system elsewhere. It’s natural, but it may not be justified. Insecurities have never had positive outcomes so let rational thinking take over.

Here’s how to handle things when your guy has a female *best* friend. Ouch.


Get to know her

Don’t hate her. We befriend people we like and if your boyfriend likes her company, she can’t be that bad. Plus, she has all the inside scoop on him. Since their friendship probably goes back a long way, she can tell you embarrassing details about him, as you laugh your ass off over a few beers. Also, it’s important she likes you. Guys usually turn to their female friends for relationship advice in times of crisis.

Clarify. Communicate.

Okay, if you don’t know already, let’s make it known once and for all – your SO is not a mind reader. Instead of keeping mum about things, speak up and communicate effectively. Clear your doubts – ask him everything you’d like to know about his equation with his lady bestie! This, however, doesn’t mean that you’ll set boundaries. Don’t be the vamp that separates two best friends.

Trust him

After all your doubts are resolved, pledge to yourself to leave your insecurities behind. Trust him and don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Know that there’s nothing happening behind your back. This means you have to, as difficult as this may sound, not stalk them online or snoop into his texts. His relationship with her is platonic and he chose to date you, not her.

Don’t compete

There’s no point in competing here, my friend. You both have a separate place in his life. Hers a lot more platonic and yours a lot more romantic. She came in his life before you so they obviously so many memories already. Yes, she probably knows him a lot better at this point, but he will be more than willing to share details with you once you get comfortable. Tell yourself this is not a competition. And leave it at that.

Follow your instincts

Okay, so if nothing works and you still feel something’s seriously off about these two…run, run and run! Our instincts usually don’t mislead us. If his hands are all over her, like only about all the time or if he gets jealous of the guys she date, just get the hell out of this relationship. We’ve had really close male friends, and we’ve also had male friends who have crushed on us. We get the difference.


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