‘Play Hard To Get’ Is The Worst Dating Advice Ever. Here’s Why We Need To Stop It, Now!
We hear the ‘well-wishers’ say that if you want the object of your desire to like you back, play hard to get. Men apparently, love the chase. We browse through a plethora of guides on dating and almost each one tells us to present ourselves as a challenge. It’s not just exhausting, but sexist too, to say the least. It’s time we stop paying heed to what some sociologists have been preaching and make dating more authentic, and fuss-free. Because playing hard to get is definitely regressive and messing it all up, for women. Here’s how.
You are objectifying yourself
This whole shady concept comes from the scientific fact that the pursuit of sex stimulates the reward centre in our brains. Apparently, buying your affection with gifts and flirting elevates the dopamine levels in men who, as a matter of fact, thrive on this feeling! Excellent. But no. We aren’t a trophy to be scored for the Best Man in the f***boi category.
It means women can’t make the first move
For decades, relationships, like most other things were patriarchal in nature. We’ve been fed with so much nonsense and we believed it to be true. A woman who makes the first move is deemed desperate, while a man who does that is simply charming. Oh f*** all that. We say, make the move, instead of simply eyeing that cutie. If you like him, make it known. If he doesn’t reciprocate – thank you, next!
Love shouldn’t require mind games
Honestly, when you have so much going on in your life, do we have time and energy for this? Let’s just say, we are a no-nonsense bunch. We do not want to *make* someone like us. It’s more fulfilling to invest in building a relationship which forms naturally than some complicated cat and mouse archaic nonsense. Place your bets on the guy who seeks you for love and companionship. It’s that simple.
We need someone more reliable
What happens when the chase is over? Will they still be in love or set out on a new pursuit? The uncertainty leaves us at a vulnerable position and what fun is that even? Ladies, you know you need someone who sticks by you and hard to get is fun for exactly 30 seconds after which it just becomes uncomfortable.
It’s making romance less pleasurable
The thing with the entire concept of making him chase you, is that you don’t know of his feelings. Does he like you for real? Or is he just seeking your attention? When faced with the possibility of rejection, we start distancing ourselves from the potential partner. Honestly, where does all of this lack of security and uncertainty leave us? In a grey area! Which honestly, is the worst colour of area to be.