People Reveal The Hilarious Reactions Kids Have When They First Find Out About Sex
Kids say the most hilarious things – be it about anything. But more often so about the things that adults deem normal but are too ripe for children to understand. Or you know, they are just plain awkward! However, nothing beats the sex questions kids have when they first learn about it. I remember, when we had the first sex-ed class in school, I wasn’t really disturbed, neither was I too excited. Coming from a Catholic school, it was an abstinence-heavy sesh, which merely just focused on the changes our bodies go through when we hit puberty. And then we were explained with diagrams and in scientific terms how we procreate. It was boring; it was like being in a biology class. Honestly, I didn’t understand a lot of terms, but I was relieved to know that just because your tummy is getting bigger, it doesn’t mean you’re getting a baby!
But my parents never really bothered to give me the birds-and-the-bees talk. I think they were just relieved that our school was doing it. However, there were some instances when I just stumbled upon things that scarred me. For example, I had just found out that several women bleed when they lose their virginity. And later, I was looking for something to watch on TV and I stumbled upon a very-adult movie in which the woman is dressed in a nighty and has blood on the crotch area. I was scandalised. Like hello, give me some time to digest things?
Lucky for my parents, I asked nothing. However, as a parent, I will make sure, I go through the awkward sex talk so my children know well in advance. It’s just an occupational hazard I guess!
Reaction from my kids after explaining how sex works:
“You’ve done this THREE TIMES?”
— megan (@meganmuircoyle) February 3, 2021
So when a woman took to Twitter to describe her hilarious experience, several people found it relatable and shared theirs. “Reaction from my kids after explaining how sex works: ‘You’ve done this THREE TIMES?’,” she wrote.
Another user added, “I was keen not to be like my parents and be open & factual about everything. But I didn’t anticipate the follow up questions! Where do u do it? What time do u do it? Can I watch next time u do it?? and also the animal related sex questions (can a cat do it with a dog..etc)” Uh-oh. Well, like I said, occupational hazard!
“My daughter (6 at the time) asked if we need to have a doctor watch us do it since he is putting something inside my body. Then she asked if she could see how far it goes inside. We then explained privacy,” another user shared. Nobody really knows what the kids will ask them. A doctor watching couples do it would be so so awkward.
This mommy had an adorable experience though; some kids are sweet, for a change. “When my 5 year old son asked me “where do babies come from?” me: from their mommy’s belly. son: how did I come out of ur belly? me: *slightly hesitant* female bodies have an exit pathway. son: oh, okay. *hugs me and kisses my belly* this is my first home! keep it safe,” she wrote.
Another woman shared how her kid reacted to her sharing her experience of childbirth. “When he got older I told him about the cervix, contractions, labour etc and he was like “oh. okay. cool. I made you scream for 14 hours?” I said “almost…”. my son cackles and says “I’m guessing you’re not going to get me a sibling?” he was 9,” she wrote. Smart child!
Someone pointed out that kids need to learn consent and trust as well. But the OP pointed out that it will be spoken about when they come of age. “I wonder if any parents on here explain that sex is also about consent, trust and love. The comments on here are great and hilarious. All the kids seem to think that sex is just to procreate. Do kids these days know we do it out of love? They seem to think we do it reluctantly,” the woman asked. “I have noticed that a lot in these comments too. For my kids desire isn’t on their radar yet and it’s a bit hard to explain in theory. For now the mechanics interest them, and I know we’ll get to the rest as they grow,” the OP replied. Well, I guess consent and trust should be taught from childhood itself.
Another kid just laughed and refused to buy any of that! A woman shared, “One of my children literally laughed at me when I explained sex. It took several minutes to convince the kid that I wasn’t making it up. I had prepared for many reactions, but not ‘scornful dismissal, with points for entertaining tall tale’.”
Sometimes, it’s the follow up questions about sex that are more difficult to answer. “When my daughter was 12 she asked me what a blowjob was. And I took a deep breath and was proud of myself – and I told very matter of factly. She then said, “why would anyone want to do that?” That question was tougher to answer,” a woman wrote.
Some children thought sex was only for procreation. “My high school history teacher told us that his kids had the same reaction but when my teacher informed them that he has “done it” many times, his kid started crying and asked him “where are the others”…. he thought he had many long lost siblings,” a user shared.
A little kid had a major foot-in-mouth moment that he will probably regret when he grows up, or not. But it will make one hell of an embarrassing yet funny tale. A user shared, “My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he spontaneously stood up on his chair, flexed his biceps and loudly announced, “I am strong and healthy and full of sperm!”
Meanwhile, another kid was just upset with her dad for inconveniencing her mom. A woman shared, “My kid learned about it in the backseat at Target in a spur of the moment conversation. We got home and she goes up to her Dad, ‘YOU STUCK YOUR PENIS IN MOM’S VAGINA TWICE!!!’” Uh-oh, I bet the dad was mortified at that! All the more reason to support sex-ed in school!