Once A Cheater May Not Always Be A Cheater. But Here Are Signs Your Boyfriend Is
Rachel’s mother may say once a cheater, always a cheater. But Ross never cheated again. And weren’t they on a break? Well, some people really do realise their mistakes, turn things around and make sure they never slip again. That is if they really do want things to work out in their relationship. Whether you are married, going to get married, or going with the flow – you do tend to expect faithfulness in a relationship. And in monogamous relationships, it’s characterized by not getting emotionally or physically involved with another person.
If you ask me, I don’t know how I will react in that situation. But without being under the influence of my emotions, I may forgive my partner if they show genuine remorse and willingness to work things out. Of course, my consequent insecurities may make matters worse and more difficult but that’s hard to predict. “While the odds of cheating on a partner were far greater if one had done so in the past, a person cheating in one relationship was not destined to do so in the next. In fact, slightly more people who had cheated in the first relationship studied did not report cheating in the second,” reports Psychology Today.
However, not every person who cheated and apologized may make good use of the second chance they got. Some people are serial or habitual cheaters and there are chances that they may do it again. It’s hard to tell but some indicators may point out in that direction.
He doesn’t take responsibility for his infidelity
There’s no way a person who has no remorse for what he did will not do it again. He may apologise but what’s the point if he thinks the cheating happened due to circumstances, not in his control. Maybe, like Ross, he too thought you guys were parting ways. But then too, he has to take responsibility for what happened. A person truly guilty of something will never blame you or circumstances for their infidelity.
He isn’t very empathetic to your pain
There’s hardly any emotion in him when you’re hurt. When he feels bad, it’s because of the consequences that directly affect him. For instance, if you don’t complain about what he did, he will continue to do it, even though he knows it hurts you. But to get him to mend ways, you have to make sure he is at loss. Like if he is not getting the attention he likes because you are upset, he may think about rectifying it. This man’s not just a cheater but also selfish.
He is emotionally unstable and has low willpower
Emotional stability and this man don’t even fall in the same subset. He gets affected by the smallest things and his mind changes like you navigate through your outfits before a girls’ night! Often, he acts and then thinks, leading to a plethora of regrets and things you wish to but can’t undo. Well…if that’s his nature, I wouldn’t think he is very reliable.
He is more sorry about you finding out than the episode itself
He was nicely chilling, having two or more women in his life, until you, his primary girlfriend found out. Then he felt apologetic or said so because he doesn’t want you to leave him. If his main concern was you finding out and not the act itself, he will probably do it again. But this time, he will hide it better.
He is generally a dishonest person
He lies about the most insignificant things. How do you know? His stories don’t add up and sometimes he often speaks of the same incidents differently. He doesn’t believe in keeping you informed about where he is and what he is up to. He often gets mad when you ask him for deets accusing you of taking up his space. Chances are, he is making a habit of not telling you things so the next time you don’t find out. He is a habitual cheater and is planning well.
Be careful but don’t distrust a person completely if you decided to give them a second chance. Allow yourself to slowly let the trust build again and work on your relationship. Cheating really harms a connection and seeing a relationship counsellor may be a good choice. Unless he seems to be not taking the second chance seriously!