On-And-Off Relationships Aren’t Worth Losing Your Mental Peace Over, Says This Study
When you’re with someone who is deeply committed to you, that’s when you realise that the guy you kept breaking up with and getting back to, did you no good. You become more grateful for the stability you now have, and that feeling of security is beautiful. I am not saying that people who are in on-and-off relationships are not in love. Because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t find it so difficult to stay apart. I’d like to believe they are just star-crossed lovers, who feel passionately for each other but the universe has different plans. Honestly, if it wasn’t for self-love (insert Kareena’s main apni favourite hoon dialogue) I would be forever stuck in the arms of my star-crossed lover. But let’s admit, these intermittent romances hold us back from progressing, or having any peace of mind.
According to a study by Kale Monk and co-authors Brian Ogolsky and Ramona Oswald from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, these relationships can lead to depression and anxiety among individuals. The results were based on surveying more than 500 individuals currently in relationships. When you’re really in love, it’s tempting to want to get back with your partner, even when you know it’s not going to last. “The findings suggest that people who find themselves regularly breaking up and getting back together with their partners need to ‘look under the hood’ of their relationships to determine what’s going on. If partners are honest about the pattern, they can take the necessary steps to maintain their relationships or safely end them. This is vital for preserving their well-being,” revealed Monk.
Vacillating in and out of the relationship, leaves you confused and unable to move forward in life. It’s pretty obvious that this will mess with your head. However, the authors of the study don’t discourage people from rekindling a romance. But Monk advises that before you thinking of getting back with an ex, one should think of the issues that led to the breakup and ask yourself, ‘Are those consistent? Are you in a better place to resolve them?’ If the answer is negative, ditch the guy and hold on to your mental peace instead. “Remember that it is okay to end a toxic relationship. For example, if your relationship is beyond repair, do not feel guilty leaving for your mental or physical well-being,” advises Monk.