Netizens Open Up About Things They Wish Were Talked About In Sex Education Class
What was it the first time you got your period? Did you know what was happening to you or did you like freak out? When I got mine, I thought I have a disease or something. I didn’t want to tell my mom because I just wanted it to go away. Of course, that secret lasted just a few minutes and my mom asked me to take the day off from school. I was like this confirms my doubt that I am sick. After getting me changed and making me wear a pad, she sat me down and explained things. My grandmom also came over and somehow, me hitting puberty became like a family affair and I had no clue what was happening.
Now all I was told is that after a certain age, girls just get it. My mom and grandmom were quite conservative back then and believed anything around period is supposed to be kept a secret. Can you imagine I have two older sisters and I was oblivious to menstruation? I hated it and didn’t understand why I am getting it. Plus, the whole secrecy made me feel like it’s something to be embarrassed of. But even my fam hadn’t dived deeper into menstruation and it being a part of reproduction cycle. Because before reproduction comes coitus and my fam probably thought I will just stumble upon it myself.
When the time came for sex ed in my very catholic school, it was just a bunch of scientific facts presented to us. We were basically given lessons on anatomy, period and reproduction. That’s barely sex education! I know, several people didn’t even have sex ed but this is only slightly better than that.
People of Reddit got together in this thread to discuss the things they wish they were told in their sex ed class. Here are some things that should be included in sex ed.
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Consent, boundaries and masturbation
Someone said that it’s important to teach consent in sex ed. “How to give and receive consent should be taught to men and women. How to set boundaries, say no, and how to handle/defend yourself in a situation in which you’re being assaulted or coerced. And that it’s okay to masturbate,” they wrote. That is actually the most important thing and shouldn’t be missed out on, especially since people grow up to still be clueless about it.
A user wrote, “I wish we learned about gay and lesbian sex.” And to think about it, we only acknowledge male to female sex in sex ed. Times are changing and now that homosexuality is decriminalised in several countries, can we be more inclusive?
A user wrote, “That fertility is different in men and women and it’s okay to get checked if you want to have kids. Heart wrenching to see folks try only to find out after years they are infertile.” We are just told that once you have unprotected sex, boom, you’ll get pregnant. It doesn’t teach you that fertility issues can happen. On the other hand, it doesn’t say that you have a choice to not use your reproduction cycle for reproduction.
Discharge is normal
“Boys and girls need to be taught that vaginas have discharge NATURALLY,” wrote a user. A few guys also mentioned that they had no idea about nightfall and had to just figure when they woke up with a wet and sticky penis. Women explained how they got confused if they had a discharge without being on their period or turned on. Save kids the stress and tell them the changes their bodies can go through.
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About first-time sex
“That the 1st time having sex can often be awkward and bad,” wrote a user. Well, the first time is often seen as a big deal and when it goes bad, it gives people self-esteem issues and intimacy problems. Can we please talk about how it will not be perfect and how the whole hymen breaking is a myth? Can we talk about how it can be less painful?
That pre-marital sex isn’t wrong
“Anything really. I had abstinence-only sex ed. A purity ring organization of some sort visited to make us swear abstinence (a “virginity pledge”) at an assembly. I was told that condoms aren’t effective and that disease passes through them because viruses are small, so safe sex doesn’t exist. We were also taught that IUDs are just monthly abortions. Like, we didn’t just get insufficient sex education, we got sex miseducation,” a user wrote. Someone added, “Didn’t talk about STDS didn’t discuss periods or consent or anything of the importance except Sex before marriage and why you should wait. How it’s wrong and sinful to not wait till your wedding night.” Wow!
ALSO READ: Why Is Sex Education Still Not A Priority In India’s New, Reformed Education System? It Is The Need Of The Hour
Foreplay is important
“I had a fairly good sex ed teacher, something I wish we’d been taught is that foreplay is actually a very integral part of sex and that it helps to loosen things up,” wrote a user. This is so right. We get sex ed and it’s all about intercourse. I am not saying teach kids to make out. But you could at least teach them foreplay is important to feel connected and have pain-free sex.