How To Tell Your Man You Need Kinkier, Naughtier Sex
I am a terrible person when it comes to trying out new dishes unless a trusted source vouches for it. So I will go to different cafes and order a cappuccino or iced latte and select from a few dishes I know I will like. And when a friend asked me to not go for my regular cheesecake and try a cookie and crème dessert she recommends, I realised I am missing out! Kinky territory is just like that; you don’t know you like it until you try it. Even the most seemingly vanilla person can be into kinky things.
When I made out with bae for the first time, I was so reserved. It took me an entire night of cuddling and talking to finally share a kiss with him in the wee hours. I bet he didn’t expect me to unleash my inner temptress and become feisty in bed with all my inhibitions flung out of the window. And then came the kink. Within no time, our chemistry was going off the roof and we were sending each other screenshots of positions we’d like to try. We were talking fantasies and reviewing things that we actually liked. Of course, just talking about it used to get me excited and a little wet! Point being, if bae isn’t kinky yet or at least as much as you’d like, it’s possible to herald him into a world of amazeballs sex!
Yeah, giving feedback on sex is like walking on thin ice. If you come off too strong, it won’t take long for it to all go down, including his erection. However, well-thought moves and a good choice of words can get you what you want. Here’s how to get him to be kinkier, without breaking his self-confidence.
1) Figure what you’re into
So you can’t sell a product you don’t know! You gotta figure what you like – from past experiences or fantasies. Like make a bucket list of kinky things you wanna do. Sex games, roleplay, shower sex – keep your to-do list ready.
2) Start by hypothetically talking about the easiest of it all
Go slow and indulge him in a hypothetical conversation about things you’d like to try. Ask him if he’d like to make out in the shower and tell him how sexy it is to watch the tiny droplets of water on his naked body. Describe how you’d like to kiss him, brushing his wet hair aside as he holds on to your breasts. I bet this thought will make his jaw drop and he’d be eager to set foot in your kinkdom.
3) Introduce a little sneak peek of it in regular sex
You don’t even have to tell him in advance! Catch him off guard – put on a sexy lace bodysuit and let him wonder what’s so special. When you’ll are at the peak of your passion, casually throw in your furry handcuffs, and hopefully, his instincts will be his guiding light. Basically, take charge and throw in kinky elements you’d like to try out but go slow. If you’re into controversial things, then it’s better to have a word about them beforehand.
4) Tell them how much you love it
Use positive motivation to make him feel rewarded for all his effort. In the end, most of us get conditioned to feel aroused by our partner’s pleasure. Like what’s the pleasure in giving your partner oral sex? It’s their pleasure that makes you find it so hot, right? Knowing that you’re responsible for those orgasms is amazing and let him know what he did right. Yeah, that’s how you train your dragon. Or in this case, his dragon.
ALSO READ: I Never Thought I Would Be A Kinky Girl! Here’s What My Sex Adventures With Bae Made Me Feel.
5) Introduce more kinks and explore what he is into
As he gets used to the spice, gradually add more levels and layers to it. It does sound like a lot of work but it isn’t. After the initial introduction, it’s a piece of cake; he will be excited and interested to try more. He will feel more open to talk about the kind of things he is into – his fantasies and fetishes. Then, you can have lengthy discussions about those, which might as well lead to some sexting and mutual pleasuring even when you’re away. But most importantly, it will help your collective imagination and that’s always the first step to any new kink you want to explore!