How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship
When we are into someone, we tend to put ourselves second. We stop prioritising our own needs, and always pick them over, well, anything actually. In fact, we pick them over plans with friends, yoga class, reading a book, etc. Nothing compares to the oxytocin-elevating time you spend with bae. And while it feels like a right investment, maybe you’re overdoing it. Ignoring your own needs and goals will make you lose yourself in a relationship. You’ve forgotten things you really liked, things that made you happy but that’s not always good news.
What if the relationship doesn’t work out? How will you manage? Forget breaking up, even if you stay together forever, what substance will you add to the relationship when you have lost yourself? Too much dependence on any person can make the relationship toxic and make them feel like they need space to breathe. Which is why, you must make sure, you don’t lose yourself in a relationship, no matter how lovestruck you are. Here’s how you can do exactly that.
1) Spend time apart
When you’re in a new relationship, you want to spend all your waking time together, even sleep time, if that’s doable. And that’s natural. But if you’re investing all your time in just your love life, where do you have time to work on yourself? You will find yourself skipping gym, cancelling plans with friends, and basically just having all your time reserved for bae. Eventually, you will feel like you don’t even know who you are. Spend time away, so you can spend time with yourself.
2) Don’t give up on your hobbies
It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like the activities you like. If he is not up for treks, go for them on your own. Why give up on things you love? Love shouldn’t take that away from you. If you’re passionate about something, it becomes a part of you. And that’s a part you’ll lose if you give up. Do things you love. It’ll also put distance between you guys and doesn’t that make a heart grow fonder?
3) Don’t over accommodate
Being selfless and all that is virtuous. But not when you’re the only one compromising on everything. He is your partner and an equal, which means he has to make equal efforts to keep things smooth. If you find yourself over accommodating, after a few months of this you’ll feel burnt out. So communicate and balance things out.
4) Have your own set of friends
A lot of women start spending more time with her partner’s friends and not with her own. And that’s not cool. They may be fun to hang out with, but your best friends feel like home to you. Plus, you really need to have your own set of friends too, because who do you discuss all the fun details of your relationship with?
5) Focus on your goals
Remember what your goals were before your mind got wrapped in a cloud of romance. Whether you wanted to get fitter, or have been working hard for a promotion – don’t get distracted.