How To Become Confident And Unleash Your Inner Goddess In The Bedroom!

Sex is more than just perfecting a contorted position, or dressing up in lacy lingerie. To truly let go, and enjoy it, you have to be confident. But, for us women, sexual confidence is not an easy thing to achieve. Our sexuality is cloaked in shame and guilt, burdened by the honour of other people, and dismissed by a collective ignorance of female sexuality.

Consider the abysmal orgasm gap. According to one study, it is a whopping 52%! In our country, many women don’t even know what an orgasm feels like. If we do own our sexuality, we are shamed and blamed in a myriad of ways.

So, how do we even begin to feel confident between the sheets? Here’s something to get you started.

1. Deal with the internalised shame, and confront sexual guilt

Don’t deny it. Don’t pretend it’s not there. Acknowledge it. Accept it. And work through it. A lot of women feel shameful or guilty for enjoying sex. Again, don’t deny the feeling. Understand that it’s not because you actually did something awful, but because this is how you’ve been conditioned. And then, challenge the conditioning. Go see a therapist, if you must.

2. Masturbate!

Because this is how you will learn what you like – how, where, and how much you like to be touched. You bring this knowledge to bed with you.

3. Communicate

Talk about sex, and not just to your partner. This culture of shame is perpetuated by the silence around sex. Talk to your friends about it – perhaps not the details of your sex life, but discuss your fantasies, what you know, what you don’t know. Talk to your partner – tell them what’s working for you, what’s not, what you’d like to try, what you don’t want to do.

4. Don’t do something unless you are sure you want to do it

Drawing boundaries, and learning how to say no is a crucial element of being confident. While it’s good to be open to new things, unless you are truly and honestly comfortable, don’t do it when it comes to sex.

5. Most importantly, focus on yourself

Our culture lays enough emphasis and focus on male pleasure. For most of us, it isn’t sex unless the man finishes, and it’s over the moment he’s done. It’s your personal responsibility to shift the focus to your pleasure.