10 Ways You Can Help Your BFF Deal With A Painful Breakup
Your best friend has broken up and as a friend, it’s your duty to stand by her and make her feel better. Of course, you always knew he was a jerk, that his intentions were warped, that he was a bit of a sleaze. And despite you wanting to knock some sense into your BFF, perhaps you should hold off till she’s calmed down a little bit and can actually hold back tears. We will tell you this. She’s going to behave like she’s slightly crazy but things get better. But if you really want to be there for her, here’s what you need to do.
Listen but encourage her to not sulk
Keeping things bottled up in her heart will delay her healing process. She needs a friend who can listen to her rants without judgement. But don’t let her fall into the pit of constant sulking and cribbing. Add humour if you must, but dodge the punches she may throw your way.
Don’t say ‘I told you so’
You probably always knew in your heart that things won’t work out between them. But she was blinded by love. It doesn’t matter, you don’t have to prove your point now. Instead, if she is thrashing her ex, tell her she is right but she needs to free her heart from all that negativity. Please don’t say ‘There are plenty of fish in the sea’ because that has literally helped no one.
Ask her if she needs space
People deal with grief differently. Don’t go creeping into her perimeter if all she needs is some time alone. But then again, don’t just assume. Ask her directly, but also watch out for cues. She may be the miss drama queen who says she wants to be alone, but is craving attention deep down!
Call/text them out of the blue
When you’re feeling low, a simple text from your BFF can totally turn your mood around. She probably misses feeling special, since there’s no one to pamper her now. Your text or call will let her know that you’ve been thinking of her and it will make her day! Plus, your bestie needs someone to talk to!
Encourage them to spend quality time alone
She suddenly has a big empty void in her life, and she probably doesn’t know what to do with all that time. However, instead of relying on a person to make herself feel better, she needs to become self-sufficient. Ask her to spend time with herself – reading a book in a quaint café, going for a run or binge-watching Netflix. Sign her up for a class you think she will enjoy. Anything that will pull her out of the spiral of self-doubt and endless crying sessions.
But also plan fun things with her
Indulge in some retail therapy, go dancing or invest in a weekend getaway. Having fun with her best bae will help her laugh a little harder and find happiness in the little things you do together.
Don’t criticise her choices
The last thing she needs is feeling that she is incapable of making the right choices. We’ve all made bad judgements, especially when it comes to dating. She doesn’t need another blow to her self-esteem. Be supportive and remind her to err is human. This is not the right time to tell her that the dress makes her look like a panda.
Build her confidence back
A breakup can make you feel rejected, which greatly affects your self-esteem. This is the time you remind her that she is incredibly amazing! Throw in the best adjectives you know, but make sure you’re complimenting her genuinely. She is your best friend. She can look right through your flattery.
Send her a care package
It is a good way of showing you care. She will feel not only cheered up but also motivated to indulge in some pampering. Comfort food, spa kit, the cutest cat print socks – anything that can put a smile on her face should be good.
But remember you can’t “fix” it for her
Don’t hover around her like a mother hen. It will make her dependent on you, or she may even begin to feel a bit suffocated. Give her space when necessary and let her deal with the pain on her own, in ways she is comfy with. You’re a support, not the lead.