Can He Handle Being Treated The Way He Treats You? Here’s What Could Happen If The Tables Were Turned
Most Indian men grow up believing that their relationship with their mother is exactly how they will be treated by their wives. This means they can chill out on the couch, watching Netflix and ask mommy dearest if there’s something to eat and she will whip up a four-course meal for her son. Indian mothers rarely hold sons accountable for anything and are willing to serve them with the maximum love they have while expecting nothing from them. These guys grow up believing that they simply existing and allowing the woman in their lives to take care of them is good enough. They grow up to be habituated to be only half invested in conversations, not be answerable to women, and be pacified vehemently when it’s their fault.
I am sorry but did I sign up to be your mother? I really don’t remember asking his mother for parental rights and just keep giving. I wouldn’t even be that kind of a mother to my real, biological children so why on earth would I put up with my partner not treating me right?
You wait for his time and attention while he freely gives it to people who shouldn’t top you on his list of priorities. Why? It’s not like he is closer to them but we tend to be more careful about the impression we make in front of outsiders. And yet, if you don’t drop everything to make room for him in your life, he acts like you stole his kidney. Can he handle being treated the way he treats you?
What if you didn’t ‘make’ time for him?
I dated this guy who preferred watching Netflix, football, and practically just anything over calling me. You know, it was all part of his TLC after returning home from work because you know he works in the mines. Not! I agree we all need ‘me’ time but well if that’s all you need then maybe you should stay in a relationship with yourself too. Of course, me asking him to call me at least a couple of days a week fell on deaf ears until after months of this, I gave up on him. It took just a month of me treating him exactly the way he treated me for him to crumble. I didn’t prioritise his calls, made plans with my friends, and went for the parties he refused to come to, without him. I became too busy for him and removed him from my list of priorities. He got restless and for the first time in months started calling me during weekdays and this time, I was the one doing my own thing instead.
He couldn’t handle it. I have brought him to tears by a month of behaving the way he did to me for a hellishly long duration.
What if you reply coldly to his texts?
I am sorry but if I reply to your texts in monosyllables and emojis, will you feel special? I don’t think so. He’s cold, disinterested in your texts making you feel like you’re selling him gym memberships but when you give up on him and act distant, he feels upset. He will ask if you’re mad at him. He will wonder why he is not getting all that affection you shower on him but not for a moment he will think that maybe it’s because your back is tired from trying to carry that conversation, alone.
What if you stop caring about what he likes in bed?
Imagine, making him please you thoroughly, give you mindblowing orgasms and then just rolling over and going for a wash. What if you touched his penis for like two minutes and then stopped because you don’t want to invest more time in making him come? Would he even fake an orgasm for you, if he could? I don’t think so. Get your orgasms and if he is selfish, you show him what being left parched truly means.
What if you casually flirt with other guys and then call him crazy for being possessive?
I have one simple rule – after a lot of selfless dating – I have decided to make ‘tit for tat’ my new mantra. Guys are like ‘I am gonna mess around with other women’ and bask in the glory of all that attention. Good for you but I will as a matter of fact show you how that feels if you call me crazy for feeling possessive. And yes, that always works. It’s not like we don’t have the option, we are just choosing not to fool around. I bet it will hurt and they will act as “crazy” as you if the tables are turned.
What if you stop putting effort?
So I am just gonna live my life, do my thing and not care about what my responsibilities are towards another human. Yeah, I am not answerable, right? I am not “responsible” for someone else’s feelings. Fine. Would our relationship go anywhere if I stop putting effort? What if I stop caring to resolve conflicts or to make things easier for you? What if I stopped caring about making you feel special? What if I get freaked out at the slightest sign of connection from you? The relationship will not survive that way but guys have to do the same!
ALSO READ:5 Signs He Is Pulling Away From You. One Is Definitely How He Stops Making You Feel Desired
Really, you can’t have all the pros – expect us to care, take love and affection, understanding, attention and loyalty. And give us all the cons – not knowing where this is going, being called crazy, etc. Just not done and we need what we give. If you can’t handle the cold texts, start being warm, bitch. If you can’t handle not being given priority, give us some too. Because if you’d rather love and care for me selflessly, I will do the same!