8 Tough But Important Life Lessons Your First Real Heartbreak Teaches You
The thing about heartbreaks is that they are never easy, even if it’s not your first. You can drown yourself in Arijit Singh songs, bawl till your eyes are swollen and bore your bestie with the same stories on loop but it takes time. But your first heartbreak…the real one where it feels like your entire life is falling apart is different. It exposes you to things you didn’t know you could feel. Of course, when you’re dealing with something for the first time, you’re more clueless but who knew loneliness could gnaw at your insides? Or that a picture will have you weeping?
As difficult as it looks right now, it’s true that you can claw your way out of it. You try, fail and try again. And eventually you heal. You even find love again. Most importantly, you find yourself and your strength. A heartbreak makes you grow, one lesson at a time. Here are some lessons you learn after your first heartbreak that you should thank the universe for!
1) Life is unpredictable
You thought this was your first and your last, because you had enough love to sustain your entire life. But turns out, love isn’t enough. No matter how much time you invested in daydreaming of your wedding and zeroing down on the names of your children, life doesn’t always go as planned. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you got to let life do its thing.
2) Sometimes, there’s no satisfying answer
You both have had so many discussions on the issues that separated you. And no matter how much you hash it out, sobbing into a pillow, the questions continue to haunt you and the answers will never be enough. Which is why, find your closure in knowing that it was good while it lasted.
3) Emotional pain is as real as physical pain
The thing about emotional pain is that unless you’ve experienced it, you cannot possibly understand it. After your first heartbreak, you realise what crumbling actually means. You’ve felt pain in places you didn’t know could ache and that healing your emotional wound is more difficult than healing a physical one. Who knew, huh?
4) But you’re stronger than you thought
And yet, you heal. You pick up the pieces of you and become whole again. Sometimes it may feel overwhelming and beyond your pain threshold, but you’ve made it past that. You thought you’d never be able to stop crying every time you see his face in your social feed but one day, you wake up and you’ll be stronger. Believe.
5) That The Nights Are Worse Than The Days
During the day, you’re keeping busy with work, activities and friends. And when the night comes, you find yourself engulfed in the memories of the past. You listen to music and every bit of your heart wants to text your ex. You didn’t think heartbreak was limited to a time to the day, but the nights suck. Just knowing that makes it better. Trust us.
6) It’s okay to cry
So many people will tell you to not cry and be strong. But when you’ve invested in someone so much and then it doesn’t last, of course it will hurt. Pretending that the heartbreak doesn’t exist will only make it worse. Crying is catharsis. Let those tears flow, but don’t delve on it for too long. Also, stop listening to sad songs, it only makes you cry harder.
7) But eventually you gotta start loving your self
They say to get over someone, you must get under someone. Sometimes it helps, but more often than not, it doesn’t! First, you have to heal yourself with self-love. Invest all your energies in building yourself up. Join a fitness class, read, or do anything that keeps you sane and happy. Distancing yourself from dating will help you gauge what you’re looking for exactly.
8) You will find love again
We’ve heard it over and over again that love happens only once. That’s completely BS. Tell those people to f**k off. Love can happen as many times as you want, more often, when you’re not even expecting it. All you need to do is keep your heart and options open! Shahrukh said this in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and we all know how that turned out.