7 Ways To Live Peacefully With Your In Laws
It’s not easy, inheriting a family overnight. I mean, you don’t just one day wake up with a lot of love in your heart for these newbies in your life. Neither do you magically land with in-laws that perfectly resonate with you. I mean, let’s be honest – we don’t even relate completely to our own parents. So when I say difficult, I don’t mean your in-laws are bad people.
But if you feel like it’s not always easy to be comfortable around them, you can feel disoriented. It could be a cultural clash, maybe it’s how you guys handle money, maybe it’s how they see relationships. Maybe you’ve lived a certain way and have a certain mindset that clashes with them. You can still live in peace, without bringing the house down. Here’s how!
You don’t have to love them
When we are getting married, especially in India, we feel it’s an obligation to love our in-laws like our own parents. But sometimes, even if you have tried, it doesn’t happen. It’s okay if you don’t love them as much as your own family. You can still be cordial and civil.
We know how Indian parents like to be very involved in their child’s life. However, you may not want a third-party interference from his or your family when it comes to your marriage. Like how you want to raise your kids or how you, as a couple handle your finances. It’s better to establish boundaries beforehand and make sure both you and your partner talk as a team. Or you’ll sound like the bad cop.
Have direct communication
You may feel tempted to not directly confront them and push your husband in front to take one for the team. Because confrontation isn’t easy! But that has tremendous scope for miscommunication. Say it directly or forever hold your peace.
Remember, you and your partner are in the same team
If there’s something that his parents did to offend you, don’t blame your partner for it. You and he are on the same team. Don’t put him in a spot where he has to choose. At the end, your goal should be to have a marriage that’s peaceful.
You don’t have to react to everything
Sometimes, it’s just better to agree to disagree – for the greater good! In fact, it’s never really good to react when you’re angry. Cool off and then pick your battles. Choose what you can let go and what you must have a calm conversation about.
Be nice and courteous
Even if you don’t agree to their value system, you can still be nice to them. At the end, they are family and even if they weren’t, I don’t see why you should be rude to people. Extend your courtesies and treat them well – they raised the person your husband is after all.
Know all families are crazy including your own
Like your fam has flaws, they do too. It’s just that we are more accustomed to our fam’s craziness. Take it with a pinch of salt and accept the madness they come with. What matters the most is that their intentions are in place!