7 Unexpected Things You Face When You’re His First Serious Girlfriend And How To Deal With Them
I don’t understand why people prefer dating people with very little or no experience in relationships. I always feel that you should date before marriage so you know the nitty-gritties of being committed to someone. I know it sounds like a job but guess what, relationships do come with a lot of responsibilities.
Imagine you own a company and you are hiring an employee. Wouldn’t you seek someone who knows what they are doing? So when you need someone for the role of a partner, then why don’t we seek experience? We shouldn’t be afraid to get into relationships and try out love. It’s okay if it doesn’t work; you will at least have the lessons that will help you become a better partner.
So if bae has never been in a relationship before you, his lack of experience can create a lot of obstacles. And the fact that you’re reading this means you already know this. However, I am not saying he will be a bad partner. What I am saying is he needs you to be patient, especially if he is worth it! Here are some completely unexpected hiccups but ones you can tackle with just a little patience and a lot of love!
He may have fairytale-like expectations
Do you remember the first time you got into a relationship? It was all roses until you realised how things actually work. But his view comes from novels and movies and we all know how that turns out. But here’s the good thing, he doesn’t have any emotional baggage! So burst his bubble and introduce him to reality, but do it gently.
He doesn’t know how to communicate effectively
Effective communication is very underestimated as a tool in a relationship. It’s something that we acquire with practise over time. Since bae has never been in a relationship before, miscommunication happens easily and it can drive you mad! But he’ll get it. At least that’s the hope.
Sometimes he fails to understand how you feel
That night when you were in a bad mood and hoping he’d call, but he didn’t? That’s his inexperience talking. He sometimes doesn’t understand why certain things upset you. Men and women feel differently and since he has never been this involved with a lady before, he isn’t equipped with enough understanding of your feelings. Cut him some slack but definitely explain to him what you want him to do.
He is not used to sharing his life and that can frustrate you
Before you came along, he used to plan his weekends as per his convenience. Maybe he found it difficult to have his schedule shuffled for another human. But now that he has you, he kinda has to accommodate you in his decisions. In fact, now you’re a team and decisions are supposed to be taken mutually. Communicate this to him and he will make a habit of it. It might take some time, he’s used to having things his way, but it will happen.
He doesn’t always know how to handle a fight
We fight with people we love. You know that because you’ve loved before. He can feel very disoriented after a fight. Sometimes, he may not know how to fight fair or feels too afraid to be honest. Ease him into it and let him know that fights don’t change what he means to you. Make him feel and understand that at the end of the day, you are both on the same side of the fence.
He hasn’t learnt from experience
We learn so much from our relationships. Like how our insecurities are usually in our heads or how important it is to spend time apart. But as long as he is willing to learn, there’s no problem at all!
He needs to be told how to make you feel special
You’re probably feeling the blues and all you need is a little pampering. You got late for work, you’re PMSing and there’s a lot of work piled up. At this point, just a sweet message from bae saying he is there for you will do. He can just get you a chocolate bar and cheer you up. Except he doesn’t know that and you don’t want to ask for it. You can ask for it. Train him so he knows how to handle it later.