7 Things That Can Make You Feel He Wants A Relationship, Even When He Doesn’t
It’s not like women can’t do casual sex; we can and we do have our fun phases. Patriarchy would like to be in denial but well, it’s not true, right? But speaking specifically from my own experience, it’s not casual sex but situationships hurt more. I have sworn off both of them because I believe I am a demisexual, meaning I need to be emotionally connected to be aroused by someone. But these bloody almost relationships have me emotionally involved but end up giving me more anxiety than orgasms thanks to all that uncertainty.
You are either super cool with being detached or you are like me – getting used to all that love and affection, getting carried away with all that cozy cuddling and care. The thing is, we really want to believe that it means something. We tend to think about relationships monochromatically; it’s either objectifying sex or a committed relationship. But between these two extremes is a whole universe of dating trends that make sound love like a trashy TikTok video.
At the start of my dating career (yes, I call it that!) as a naïve fresher, I was clueless about ‘no label’ relationships. I met my first boyfriend in a college fest, it was love (haha) at first sight for him. We had a common friend who introduced us and he pursued me for two months before I said yes! Standing below my building, asking to hang out, study with me in the library, etc – he made all the right moves. There was no, ‘Oh, I pursued you because I like you but let’s just keep it casual!’ It was so simple.
It wasn’t until a few years ago I experienced it. The thing is, the signs may be the same or similar like it used to be back then but you still cannot take everything at face value. He may act all close to you and maybe he is, even. But that doesn’t mean you are heading to relationshipville. There’s a diversion that heads straight to ‘friends with benefits’ so it’s better to be smart about things.
Here are 7 things that you shouldn’t misunderstand as his desire for a relationship.
You’ll share physical intimacy
Oh, those beautiful nights! You went out on dates, were all over each other like couples in their honeymoon phase. You came back home, made love like you both are crazy for each other. He looked at you with the most meaningful eyes. No, it doesn’t mean he wants a relationship. You cuddled away, all night! Still doesn’t mean you are a couple. It just means he is romantic and likes your affection.
You hang out with his friends
This probably started off with friendship. None of you were expecting it; one day you were high-fiving, few weeks later, you’re playing tongue-tennis. Life is unpredictable, you see. So chances are, you do share a bond. He likes you as a person, as a “connection”. You chill with his friends and they love you too. But it still doesn’t mean you are a couple. You can be after you guys have a direct conversation.
You both confide in each other
You love talking to him and when you sit down with your beers, conversations just flow. Both of you are not afraid to show your vulnerable sides to each other. It can mean he considers you close. It can also mean that he is not afraid of losing you as a lover; maybe he sees you as a friend, with benefits. Again, this doesn’t make you a couple, unless he asks you to be his girlfriend.
You text every day
Our generation loves texting! But does he call you every day or alternate days? You can be texting many people but if you make time for connecting on a call, it means he really wants to share his daily life with you.
He is possessive of you
Firstly, if you are not a couple, it doesn’t make sense for you to be possessive of each other. You can’t mark your territory like that. Secondly, it doesn’t mean he wants you to be his girlfriend. It just means he doesn’t want you to be someone else’s girlfriend. It’s a possibility you can’t simply ignore.
You both like each other
There’s a difference between ‘like’ and ‘like enough to date you’. Of course, he likes you to spend such a nice time with you. There’s definitely a connection. But getting into a relationship may not be on his mind. It’s smart to clear it out so you are on the same page.
He cares for you
Yeah, he is a good human being and you share a connection. He cares for you like you care for him. But relationships aren’t built on care. You need commitment too. If that’s nowhere in the horizon, ask him if this is the road you guys are taking.
It’s important to not assume romantic behaviour as desire to be in a relationship. Save yourself the wastage of time, emotions and energy and ask beforehand!