7 Signs You Were Not In Love With Him After All
When we break up with someone, we expect ourselves to break down and cry into a pillow. To listen to sad songs, gobble spoonfuls of ice cream and all that. And mostly we do. But once in a while you end up in a relationship that doesn’t break you into pieces. That doesn’t make your heart ache, okay a little but not THAT much. We’re surprised at how calm and composed we are. We are filled with a new zest for life, and thanking God for helping us get rid of something (or someone) that was holding us down.
If that’s have you have been feeling, and thinking, perhaps you should entertain this thought. Were you in love with him at all? Or was it just the idea of being in love that was clouding your head? Here are 7 signs that show you were not in love with him after all.
1) His absence has only slightly inconvenienced you
When you truly love someone, letting them go tends to leave a big void in your life. However, when you believed that it was love, but it actually wasn’t, you just feel like your most efficient employee has left your company. You know, like who’s going to take you on bike rides and pick up your laundry when you’re too busy? Who will give you your dose of dopamine with all that lovey dovey talk? Yup, if that’s the kind of void you feel, then let’s just make it clear – it wasn’t love, it was convenience.
2) In fact, you feel relieved
Okay, we know it kinda looks bad to not mourn a broken relationship at all. So you put on a show, both for your audience and yourself. You share a couple of lame AF quotes about moving on in life for your social media followers. They were so in invested in your romance (thanks to the heavy digital PDA you indulged in) that now they need closure too. But deep down, you know you’d seen this coming and you are rather relieved it’s over. Does that look like love to you? If it does then honey, what kind of rom-coms have you been watching?
3) You’re already ready to meet new guys
If you look at a picture of your ex and the first thought that comes to your mind is ‘what was I thinking?’ that’s the cloud of romance moving away from your head. Now that you’re done with the relationship, you feel yourself drawn to this fun world of opportunities. Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid – check, check, check!
4) You never felt you were on the same team
When you are in love with someone, you try your best to work through your fights. You know that you are a team and you’d like it to stay that way. But when we are not really into someone, even the slightest of disagreements can make our ego rage and we end up lashing out against them using hurtful words. And instead of wanting to solve it, you just want to be right.
5) You had begun to want more time apart
Sure, after the initial honeymoon phase the amount of time you spend with each other decreases. But you still prioritise them when you have a day off from work. If you were constantly making plans to spend time away from them, it might not have been love.
6) You expected them to be perfect
Love is forgiving. When you love someone, it’s not like their little irritating habits go unnoticed. But you learn to accept the flip side to loving them, and love them anyway. But when you’re just in love with the idea of being in love, you expect them to be perfect at all times. And after a while, when their imperfections start coming to the fore, you get utterly disappointed. If that’s what happened to you, it wasn’t love!
7) It wasn’t unconditional
If there’s one thing we know about love, it is that it’s never selfish. Unconditional love is free from judgement, or vengeance. But if you always put yourself first, and or you expected him to fit into your idea of love, then it wasn’t unconditional. And hence, it wasn’t love.