7 Definitive Ways To Get Over A Crush On A Colleague (So You Don’t Have To Quit!)
There’s only one situation in which crushing over a colleague is fun – when they have a crush back on you. But, let’s be honest… how often does life work out perfectly like that? Not so often, right? In all likelihood, that office cutie you’ve been having wet dreams about is either already taken, or interested in someone else, or just not into you. In which case, your best bet is to get over them! But, how does one do that given that you see this person every single day?
The basic rule is that you don’t want to spend time alone with this person until you have a hold on your feelings. We spend most of our waking lives at work, and it is a human need to form connections with your colleagues (you crushing on one may also be a result of this, come to think of it). While it is important to have colleague friends – someone you can chit-chat with while you take a break – your crush can’t be that for you. It’s a slippery slope from a harmless crush to unrequited love! You’d do the same were you at college, or in your friend circle.
The second thing to remember is that when we have feelings for someone, everything they say is interpreted as them showing interest in us. You know how when they say hi to you, you think they’re asking you out? Umm.. no. They are just saying hi. It may be impractical to completely cut off communication with a colleague, even short-term, and that’s why you need to be wary of this. You must be careful not to feed into the fantasy that they have a crush on you, too, simply because they are having a friendly chat with you.
And just as you can’t take their behaviour seriously, you must also remind yourself not to take your own feelings seriously. It’s a passing crush. And if it were to develop into something more, one, it would have to be mutual, and two, it could possibly jeopardise your job. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it?
To summarise, here are things you need to do if you want to get over a crush on a colleague.
Move your desk as far away from them as possible, so that you don’t have to see them all the time.
Make sure you DO NOT spend your lunch break with them. You’re better off eating alone than feeding your feelings, as you eat them!
No “catching-up” at the coffee machine either!
There is no such thing as harmless flirting with someone you’re crushing on. No matter what you tell yourself, you KNOW that you will hold on to every single word they say.
And remember – when they do flirt with you, DO NOT take it seriously. It is just office banter. Just words. In through one ear, out through the other.
Keep reminding yourself how complicated your life will get if something does end up happening between the two of you.
Don’t make the mistake of telling people you are crushing on your colleague. Because even if you may be okay with it not going anywhere, your friends won’t let you hear the end of it!