5 Ways To Tell Your Parents You’re Not Ready For Marriage Right Now
Indian parents are obsessed with getting their children married. It’s almost like that’s the solution for everything. You’ve taken a career sabbatical they will tell you beta shaadi kar lo. You tell them you’re bored, they will suggest the same solution. If you want to go out late in the night, they say get married and then do whatever you want. What’s next? You sneeze and the solution is in marriage? But if you’re not ready, there’s no reason to push yourself. And if you’ve made up your mind that you want more time, here’s how you can explain it to your parents.
Tell them why you’re not ready
Jumping into marriage when you’re not ready can feel like being thrown off a cliff with no parachute. It doesn’t matter how much your parents try to convince you into it, the fear you feel is only yours to feel. Instead of suffering in silence and frustrating your parents too, talk about the reasons you don’t want to marry at the moment. Be honest, but censored – depending on how liberal your parents are.
Make it a logical discussion instead of an emotional one
I understand that with the pressure mounting, it’s easier to let your emotions take over. But parents are parents, if you dramatically reconstruct the scenes from DDLJ, they will most definitely take their part seriously and give you the same drama back. Let your discussion be driven by logical reasoning and less emotional drama.
Share your plan of action with them
Parents like to feel that their children know what they are doing with their lives. Would you trust a pilot who isn’t really sure of his own flying skills? Even if you don’t have a solid plan yet – pretend you do! Do you want to focus on your career, study further or wait for love to knock on your door? Talk it out.
Hear them out but be firm
Don’t expect them to not put their side of the argument forward. From emotional rants to societal pressure – you can be subjected to a lot attempts at swaying your decision. Your dadi wants you to marry while she is still healthy. Or it’s your dad’s dream to find you a nice groom. Whatever happens, don’t give in. Be empathetic but be firm. Tell them it’s important and greatly influences the course of your life. So you will marry only when you are truly ready.
Don’t meet guys just for the heck
Most parents will tell you that you should at least start meeting guys. Really, it will only waste everyone’s time – yours, your family’s and his. Meet guys if you must, but not on a matrimonial portal.