5 Things You Need To Know Before You Decide To Remain Friends With Your Ex
Once your feelings have subsided, it’s really cool to remain friends with your ex, as long as it is not toxic for you. That’s how I feel anyway. This person was important to you and just because things didn’t work out romantically, it doesn’t mean that you should throw them out. I mean look at all these Bollywood celebs being all cordial to their exes! In fact, the world has become smaller with social media and all that. It’s likely you will bump into them somewhere. Also, we’re a much more secure generation, cutting ties isn’t always worth it. If you’ve decided to stay friends with your ex, here’s what you should be doing.
Give the breakup some time
You can’t possibly bounce back overnight! The negative emotions are still fresh. Then you both will just be cranky exes who subtly infuse your conversations with unfriendly digs at each other. This will further ruin any chances of establishing a friendship between you two. Time apart is really important!
Reflect on your reason of being friends with him
Why do you want to remain friends with them? Are you hoping that at some point, you guys might want to reconcile? That’s never a great foundation for being friends with an ex. The only good reason to be friends with them is that you like them as a person, and you shared good friendship even when you were in a relationship. If you still respect them and it will have no toxic effect on your life, then go ahead and maintain that friendship!
Don’t be an ex; be a friend. By that I mean, platonic friends, not friends with benefits. Obviously, it’s really upto you, but history says it hasn’t done anyone any good. It’s just a lot of mess and you lose your ex-cum-friend and your mental peace. If you hang out with him all the time, you’re just going to miss out on all those amazing guys you could date.
Understand that things can’t be the same
Break all patterns and start anew. Understand that your relationship dynamic has changed and you no longer owe each other anything. So don’t expect him to keep you updated on everything in his life, or have a say in it. You both will go out with other people and keep this clear with him.
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Keep your grudges aside
One of my exes had such an axe to grind with me while I had forgiven him that it was really off- putting to remain friends. I had to distance myself and wait for him to get over it, because no matter what I did, it didn’t really help. Seriously, no friendship can be built on grudges. Let go of them and get into it with positivity.