5 Things To Consider Before Having Sex With Your Romantic Interest
Several people follow the three-date rule before getting physically intimate with their romantic interest. And while people blindly swear by it, I don’t really see it as a foolproof formula else we’d have many more committed relationships today. Where did it even come from anyway? Charlotte from Sex And The City promoted that and decades later, women still feel that by the third date they can consummate their connection (can’t call it a relationship, right?). Amidst the several things to consider before having sex, which episode of dating you are on isn’t really a top priority.
So whether it feels too soon or too late, there are no rules to follow. You can have sex whenever you and your date feel ready. It can be on the first date itself or on your wedding night – who’s anyone to judge? Every person is different and you may feel differently with your dates. With someone, the sexual chemistry must be so strong that you find yourself making out with him at the end of your first date. And with someone who is taking it slow, you may feel motivated to hold off sex for later.
Which brings us to the question – how do we know if we are truly ready to have sex with our date? Well, there are things you can consider so it doesn’t lead to awkward morning post-coital exchanges. Sex can change things, even if it’s casual it can affect your feelings. Here are the things to consider before having sex with your love interest.
Whether you truly want it
An alarming study recently revealed that a whole lot of youngsters do not truly know the meaning of consent. In fact, several people do it out pressure just so they don’t appear as “lame” or so that the guy likes them more. It doesn’t work like that. If you feel like you are doing it just because he seems to want it and that his interest in you may wane if sex is not offered up, then it’s time you introspect. What do you want? If you truly want it, go for it no matter what the society says. Else, step back and see if he respects your boundaries.
If you feel secure enough
Sex without trust will only burden you with anxiety. Do you feel secure with him? Do you think you are comfortable enough to get naked with him? When we undress, we tend to feel vulnerable, and to share that feeling with someone without feeling anxious is true intimacy. Couples who are close enough can do the most non-sexual things like watching a movie while completely naked and not feel awkward. But most importantly, do you trust him with your safety and your boundaries? This tops the list of things to consider before having sex.
If you want things to be exclusive before doing it
The thing is, sexual attraction precedes emotional connection, usually. You may want to make out with him, two months after talking to him but it doesn’t mean you are ready to be with him, exclusively. And the same goes for him. So if you want things to be exclusive then holding sex off until your connection has matured will be a good idea. If exclusivity isn’t one of your parameters then hump away, my friend!
Does sex change things?
When you have sex, your body releases oxytocin, the love hormone which will make you feel more bonded with him. Especially if the sex is good, it can cloud our minds and make us think that it can lead to a great relationship. It’s important to be on the same page, whatever your expectations from sex are. Do you want it to be a part of “see where this goes?” or do you want it to be like a deepening of your bond? Or do you want it to not have an impact on your out-of-bed connection? Communicate and make sure both of you are seeing eye to eye on this.
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What are his views on sex?
We come from a patriarchal culture and I can vouch for the fact that there are several men who consider women who sleep with them early on, to be easy. Honestly, it really doesn’t matter what they think as long as you are comfortable having sex. But would you want to do it with a guy who doesn’t respect you, even if it’s a casual thing? Orgasms are great but get it from a guy you wouldn’t feel gross about later when he starts treating you like trash after you slept with him. Although there is no real way of finding out but take your time to find out if he respects you and your boundaries. You won’t regret including this in your list of things to consider before having sex.