5 Signs Your ‘Concerned’ BFF Actually Wants You To Fail

There are friends that are like your biggest cheerleaders. They are around when you need a shoulder to cry on. When you need guidance or when a midnight craving need satiating. They are the ones who’ve seen you in your pyjamas with unwashed hair and a body odour that could put off the most resilient of people.

Then there are others. The fair weather ones you know. You have spotted them. But then there are the frenemies. People who leave you feeling all blah after you’ve met them. The ones that expect favours from you. The ones that, somehow, make you feel worse about yourself. These are people who don’t wish any good on you, these are frenemies.

A frenemy is basically an enemy disguised as a friend. The thing about the enemy-in-disguise is that they will support you, sometimes. They will offer to do little things for you, like coming with you for shopping or introducing you to their trusted hair colourist. But underlying all these good deeds is an energy vampire feeding off of you. A frenemy, is in fact, worse than an enemy. Because you know, you’re supposed to keep clear of your enemies. But how do even figure out if your friend is actually a…frenemy? Here are 5 important signs to look for.

They undermine you

They are experts at giving backhanded compliments. You will be made to feel that your achievements are just a case of luck, rather than your ability. If a hot guy hits on you, they will make you feel as if you are undeserving of his attention. When you sign up for a gym class, they will remind you of the time you had gone on a diet and failed. They know how to pull you down and reduce your self-esteem to zero.

They make insulting jokes

We love sarcasm, and humorous people in general. Chandler is our absolute favourite character and we wish he wasn’t fictional! In fact, if you are or know a guy like Chandler, hit me up! But these frenemies, act as if they are funny, when all they do is belittle people. When you show even the slightest sign of offence, they will blame you for not being able to take a joke.

They ruin your happy moments

It’s like this friend is the dark cloud to your silver lining. When you’re celebrating a new job that you feel passionate about, they will make you feel bad about the pay package. The guy you’ve been dating wishes to take it to the next level? They will tell you how happy they are for you. And then ask if he’s in it just for the sex. All they do is adulterate every single happy moment of your life. You don’t even know any more if you should share good news with them.

They dig out the dirt

What they do enjoy, passionately, is knowing all about your misfortunes and failures. This is probably the only time they will seem so excited about your life. Breakups, issues at work, financial loss, cancelled travel plans – they want to know it all. A *true* best friend will cheer you up but a frenemy will encourage you to cry over spilled milk…as they revel in the sordid details with an evil grin!

Your friendship feels like a competition

Your friend here is fueled by jealousy, on a conscious or sub-conscious level. Anything you do or own, they want to be a step ahead of you. If you’re going on a vacation with your SO, they will immediately plan a more luxurious holiday with their partner! If they earn more than you, they won’t miss an opportunity to make it known. For them, it’s a race and they have to be ahead of you.

If you have a friend, who makes you feel like crap, cut them out. You don’t need such negativity in life.