5 Reasons Your Ex Getting Married Does Not Have To Be Bad News
A couple of months ago, late at night on this day, my phone started buzzing with messages from my best friend. She was sending me frantic screenshots of someone’s Instagram story, followed by long texts that clearly meant she was all hot and bothered about something. I quickly rolled out of bed to see what the fuss was about. Damn, I thought when I saw the screenshots, for it was a ‘Save the Date’ for her ex’s wedding. That night, I consoled her as she went through a roller coaster of emotions, from sad to hurt to amused to lastly, indifferent. And even though I was there with her for that night and for days to come, helping her process the news, there was a part of me that still couldn’t grasp her entire emotional state. Does an ex getting married trigger this tsunami of emotions, I wondered, feeling quite sagely.
‘She clearly hated the guy, she knew he wasn’t good for her. In fact, she is much better off without him. Then why does it matter if he is getting married to someone else?‘, I would often find myself wondering. Until one day, when I came across the Facebook post of my own ex getting engaged to someone else, and within that second, I had every question answered. Her tears, her perplexity, her anger, everything resonated deep within met and I knew exactly why she felt the way she did.
You see, heart break is hard enough. And so when you add to that the happiness of your ex, moving on in his life without you, it is like rubbing salt on an open wound. Especially when you see them enter a new phase when you still haven’t found the closure from that relationship. But amidst all that emotional turmoil, what we often forget to notice of is just how therapeutic that moment could be. Instead of taking a walk down the memory lane, your ex’s wedding can be a reason to celebrate and here is why. –
You can FINALLY move on
Let’s face it, the real reason you know they are getting married is because you’ve been keeping a track of them on social media. However, the worst or as I would like to put it – the best, has happened and as your former beau ties the knot with someone else, it is time for you to untie any pending connection and finally move on. No more ambiguity, no more search for closure, the matter is over and you can now get on with your life.
For a long time, you were held back by either your boyfriend, or the thought of him when he turned into an ex. Now that your scene with your ex is at behind you, it is time to focus on yourself redirect every thought, every effort into your happiness. Also, you can stop wondering if he’s checking every story, every picture, so you can finally be yourself. See, your ex getting married can be a good thing.
You dodged a bullet
Before you feel your eyes well up at the sound of your ex’s wedding bells, remind yourself of just how lucky you are to have not been the woman standing beside him, saying her vows. You were with him, you know exactly why your relationship did not work out and how difficult it could have been to spend a lifetime with a guy who couldn’t keep you happy for the time you were togethe. Thank your stars girl, that was a narrow escape!
Time to explore
Now that the last hiccup in your life – your ex and his recurring memories – have left the station, you will finally find the time to do what you had been putting on the side burner till now. With no more time being spent dealing with the toxicity or trying to fix what is broken beyond repair, your dreams can now be primary concern. He may have just gotten tied down, but you’re free as a bird to explore and experience so much more in life. Use this time to reconnect with yourself.
Reminder that life goes on
Of course it would have been better if you were the one doing the ‘moving on’ bit while he was the one moping at the thought of you getting married, but regardless, your ex getting married is testament to the fact that life goes on. And no matter how much it hurts right now, tomorrow when it’s your day, you can hope that he’s probably also a teensy weensy bit jealous.