5 Reasons The Whole ‘Friends With Benefits’ Thing Is Just A Load Of Lies
Everybody enjoys a nice, steaming sesh of sex, but what do you do when you’re single? Dating apps are great for finding someone to f**k but there’s always a risk there (what if you get in bed with a serial killer?) Plus, there’s so much initial investment in chatting and impressing, we know how exhausting that can get. Making a deal with a *friend* you are attracted to on the other hand is so…convenient! It’s easy, and comfortable because we know them so well. The sex is great because you’re clearer about your sexual needs and there’s no fluff involved. Having said that, can you really have sex with someone you care about without complicating your friendship? I don’t believe in friends with benefits and this is why!
It is being in denial of romantic feelings
Let’s be honest, you do not feel sexually attracted to a platonic friend. That’s the whole concept of platonic friendship, right? When you care for someone as a friend (sure!), and you find them physically attractive, how is it just friendship? You clearly like each other but aren’t ready to take things to the next level. So you settle for the easiest option (believe me it’s a trap), which is having a no-strings-attached relationship with them.
At least one of you will develop stronger feelings
Sex can strengthen the bond between two people, especially when it’s good! Post-coitus cuddle, fun sleepovers and lots of kisses later, the inevitable happens. At least one person has developed deeper feelings. But there’s nothing you can do about it because it’s not a relationship. Suddenly, their kisses start to feel more romantic than ever, you begin to enjoy cuddling more than the sex itself and it feels like you want…more! We all know how this ends.
Having sex with your friend WILL screw your friendship
You get into it thinking you’ll have access to sex with a comfortable partner and it will be all fun. And then the drama starts to creep in because congratulations, you’ve screwed (whattey pun!) it! How do you handle the emotions seeping in? Too many questions and no real answers leave your heart perplexed. You realise that this arrangement will have to end. But how do you even undo everything and go back to not being attracted to each other? You can’t. Unfriended!
You will have no motivation to look for a real partner
Having a f**k buddy satiates your physical desires. And sometimes, they can offer you enough emotional support to survive singlehood. So, why would you want to move out of your comfort zone to find a potential suitor? Plus, if you’re essentially a monogamist, you may also feel a sense of guilt if you sleep with someone else. This, even when you’re just friends with benefits. Yes, it’s complicated, my friend!
It will reduce your self-esteem to shreds
Some day, after your regular hookup session, your mind will decide to mess things up. This person finds you attractive enough to sleep with, cares about you too but doesn’t see you as worth dating. It can feel humiliating and hurt your self-esteem at some point.
Casual sex is good, as long as there’s no attachment. So text an acquaintance you don’t really care about, and not your good friend who is an indispensable part of your life. Or go buy yourself a vibrator -we have some options here.