5 Reasons People Find It Difficult To Break Up Even If They Are Stuck In A Bad Relationship, According To Science
Have you ever stayed in a bad relationship, constantly making excuses for how bad it is? That feeling of being trapped with someone even though your heart has already left can be quite upsetting. Especially when none of you is willing to initiate the “breakup talk.” You start picking fights, making the bad worse, and end up losing all peace before finally ending things for good.
Why do we find it difficult to initiate a breakup even though we’re being treated badly and for our own sake, we should? Here are 5 reasons people stay in bad relationships, according to science.
1) Because you care for your partner
Even though we’re being taken for granted and not exactly being treated how we like, why do we still end up caring for our partners? We think and we know we shouldn’t but still end up giving a f**k. According to Samantha Joel, the lead author of a study (by University of Utah) published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most people stick around in a bad relationships because they are worried their partner is too dependent on them. It is baffling that we’d still worry about someone who has been hurting us. Joel says it is an intrinsic human behaviour to care about other humans and it is disheartening to put them in a vulnerable position. But hey, choose your mental peace over anything else?
2) Afraid of being alone
The same study by University of Utah also says that a lot of people choose a bad relationship over no relationship at all. We fear that we will end up alone, like a crazy old lady with three cats living all by herself. But honestly, that whole concept is rigged. Being independent is not crazy and you shouldn’t stay in a sabotaging relationship just because you aren’t comfortable being alone. It’s better to be alone when single than being lonely with someone.
3) Don’t have a good pool of potential partners
Research says that we end up sticking around in a love gone sour because we don’t have a better choice, just yet. But once you find someone more suitable, you find yourself getting attracted to them; you may also end up cheating emotionally. Cheating is never good, so why not excuse yourself and then allow yourself to be vulnerable and look for someone else?
4) You become desensitised to bad treatment
After all the fights and the same arguments over and over again, you do realise it’s doing no good. Your mental peace is disturbed but since you can’t muster up the courage to walk away just yet, you desensitise yourself to all your relationship woes. According to a 2015 survey, around 60% people stayed in bad relationships, even though they were lied to or had their feelings dismissed. The survey observed that the reason behind this was that they had become desensitised to the bad treatment, so they stuck around, mostly not even realising they were suffering.
5) Because you are too forgiving
According to a study in the journal Nature Human Behaviour, most people are open to change their opinion of someone they felt was ‘bad’. People who are largely optimistic believe people can improve with second chances. While forgiveness is an indispensable part of a relationship, we need to understand the difference between a deserving person and someone who isn’t good for you. Forgiveness shouldn’t keep you trapped in a relationship!