5 Rational Ways To Deal With The Persistent Family Pressure To Get Married
If you are 20-something, and haven’t dealt with family pressure to get married, you are an exception. And also, will your parents adopt me? But, clearly, if you have clicked on this article, you are not. Don’t be disheartened. You’re not alone. Most of us in our 20s, at what is infamously called “marriageable age” face regular, if not daily, pressure from our families to “settle down,” as if we are some wild monsters that need to be put on a leash. We’re not, and this is lesson number one in dealing with how to deal with this awful pressure. Let me explain:
1. Don’t take it personally!
Even though it may feel like it, it’s not an attack on your life choices or your lifestyle, or your worth as a single person. Their concern with your marital status comes from their own life experience, where getting married was the biggest life goal. It’s for you, but it’s not about you!
2. Be clear, concise and consistent.
There’s no point engaging in long debates if your point of view is not being accepted. Figure out what you want, and put that across clearly, and with minimum (ideally none) drama or emotionality. Say no.
3. Focus on your work.
Because that is what will keep you sane, and also build your case for not getting married. You see, marriage serve a practical purpose of security in terms of your living situation and finances. If you have that sorted for yourself, then your family’s worries will be put to ease at least a bit.
4. Develop a sense of humour around it.
Don’t take it so seriously. Have a sense of humour about the situation, and learn to make jokes along the way! It will help. A lot.
5. Reason with them.
You’re an adult. They’re adults. Surely, you can sit and have a civil, honest conversation about why they want you to get married, and why you don’t want to!