10 Things That Are Infinitely Better Than Bad Sex
Some peeps say that bad sex is better than no sex. But we’d like to disagree! Bad sex leaves you feeling unsatisfied and is basically a waste of energy! You’d rather be home, masturbating and actually achieving a mind-blowing orgasm!
However, there are situations that will make you even happier and give you the glow, you don’t get out of bad sex! So if you don’t have a good hot date planned, instead of giving that thanda idiot a shot, try out these fun, orgasmic things instead!
When you lose a kilo!
You know you’ve quietly cried yourself to sleep after having to eat only salads for dinner. And when the rest of the team is eating pizza and you’re gulping down lauki, the pain is real. Hard work has been paid off!
Digging into your favourite dessert
The joy doubles up when you’re PMSing. The feeling of biting into a red, delicious cupcake will give you much more happiness than falling asleep in the middle of bad sex.
When you eat a big load of junk
It’s not like you can afford to have a large, hearty meal every single day, for the sake of your health and bank balance. But when you do, you make sure it as satisfying as the best bang of your life!
When you splurge because you earned it
All those days you’ve been working your ass off, has earned you a special treat. Buy that dress you’ve kept in your cart for way too long!
And when your hairdresser actually sticks to the length you asked for
That literally makes us cry with happiness. It’s like getting into bed not having much expectations, but he gives you the best oral ever, but better.
Getting a great bargain
Your friend bought these cool shoes and paid full price for it. And then you get it at 70% off because God is smiling at you and life is beautiful and now you wanna cry.
Finding money in your jeans pocket
When you’re broke AF and find a Rs 100 note in the back pocket of your jeans, you feel like God is empathising with you.
Going for a massage
Having sex is a lot of work, and bad sex is basically all effort wasted. In spa, you have nobody to please, except yourself! Plus, this person is working out all your knots.
Spending time with your best friend
Just the two of you, drinking away and making fun of all the dimwits in your life. This is bliss.
Getting a day off due to rains
Let’s admit all of us have prayed to God to make it pour so we can enjoy a day off. And then maybe masturbate in peace. Much, much better than sex that sucks.