10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Actually A Closet Sexist
As a desi gal, who is all ready for a long-term relationship, I am very clear about what I want. At this point, a woke guy who will not piss on my parade with sexism far outdoes an interesting guy who has undertones of misogyny. Obviously, the very hostile ones get eliminated right in the beginning. But the closet sexist men who are out there to wokefish you don’t get detected easily. It’s only a few months into the relationship that you begin to realise that you’re always at a disadvantage in it. He refuses to let go of the ball in his court and takes pride in wearing the pants in the partnership.
I have seen so many women suffer in such relationships. And after they get married, most people would not like to get divorced for casual sexism. There are young women stuck with husbands who don’t lift a finger to serve themselves at the dinner table, contributing to domestic duties is farfetched. They still claim to be modern because they “let” her work, as long as she solely carries on domestic duties as well.
If you can’t (why must you?) be in a relationship with a sexist man, here’s how to identify one, even if he has a grand façade on.
1. He doesn’t take to female authority well
Does he often complain to you how his female boss is such a bit*h? But his male senior who is possibly more asshole-y doesn’t offend him because he accepts men to be in a position of power.
2. He has an opinion on what you should wear
Oh, how cute. He is so protective of you. He doesn’t want any creepy men to see you in that light. Then go fix men, stop fixing my clothes. Asking you to cover up because men can’t keep it in their pants or because he wants your body to be only for his viewing pleasure is majorly sexist.
3. He is not okay if you behave exactly as he does
This guy has grown up watching women compromise and men do whatever they want to. So if he wants to be an asshole, he will be and act like that’s all part of his personal liberty. But when you start acting exactly like he does, it pisses him off. Well, respect is a give-and-take thing.
4. He doesn’t take your advice seriously
Have you tried telling him something that would help him? Like say, he goes on to complain about a situation and then you point out what he can do to fix it. He dismisses that saying you don’t know how it is. Next day, his male friend gives him the same advice and he goes like, “That makes sense!” oh, well, it does but you don’t, Mr. Sexist!
5. He takes all the shots
Benevolent sexism at its best. He wants to lay things out for you on a platter because he doesn’t want you to stress your incapable mind. From the restaurant you should go to, what to order to the movie you should watch – he will make all the choices. You’re just supposed to “relax” and be treated like a doll. In fact, he gets so used to this, if you do something of your choice, his discomfort is quite evident.
6. He has issues with other women who didn’t inflate his ego
Does he talk about that “friend” he’d been talking to and how she was a bitch to him just because she stopped giving him attention? He feels that women are obligated to want to be interested in talking to him if he is being nice. That’s sexist! We are obligated to not lick your ass.
7. He enjoys sexist jokes
This guy and his friends take immense joy in rolling on the floor laughing over lame-ass jokes that 14-year-olds found funny but is offensive to women. It’s offensive to every funny person ever. Chandler would have been like, “Could you be any more sexist?”
8. He mansplains you or undermines your intelligence
He assumes that you would not know this important and unique info he has because women don’t have access to schools, books, and the internet. So even if you are aware of things and it may even be your area of specialty, he will still act as he knows better. If you tell him of a fact, he has to verify it. He doesn’t find women intelligent enough to know things before vouching for them.
9. He says you’re not like “other women”
He thinks this is a compliment. “Oh, you’re so cool. You’re not like other women!” Excuse me? Are you implying the majority of women don’t deserve positive attributes and if I do, I must be rare? Such a shitty sexist statement!
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10. He gets hostile when confronted
All that “chivalry” and romance goes out of the window when you confront him. A woman confronting a man? First, why isn’t she just accepting being treated like shit? Second, holding a man accountable for his behaviour is like so unacceptable. Third, how can a woman show power over a man? Ugh, that ugly sexist behaviour mushrooms at the drop of the first critical statement!