Dear Zarina Wahab, Allow Us To Explain The Concept Of Rape To You. Because You’re Being Stupid And Insensitive
Zarina Wahab is Aditya Pancholi’s wife. So when she has an opinion on Aditya’s affairs with someone, we expect her to be biased. I mean, we are sure behind close doors she gave Aditya Pancholi an earful but when she was recently interviewed, Zarina Wahab spewed some absolute nonsense about how ”you cannot claim rape just because the relationship has ended.” This is wrong at so many levels, we don’t even know where to start. But start we will. But allow us to bring you up to speed on what has brewed till now.
Aditya Pancholi sent in a reminder complaint stating that he might be booked under a “fake rape case if he doesn’t withdraw the complaint he has made against Kangana Ranaut. Basically, he’s trying to save his ass by pre-empting a case Kangana might file. In this entire thing, one person whose voice perhaps has been drowned in all the din is Zarina Wahab. And if we had known what she was going to say, we would have just appreciated if she just hadn’t said anything.
In a recent interview, Zarina Wahab said, and we quote (honestly, because you cannot paraphrase this kind of thinking) “You can’t be in relationship with someone for years and then suddenly accuse him of rape just because the relationship has ended, or because the other person has moved on. It’s just not right.” Oh, we know. We know that a rape case shouldn’t be filed because he didn’t meet your emotional needs. But by saying something this insensitive, Zarina is doing a great disservice to women to struggle with abusive men. Men who exert power over their girlfriends and wives, not only in life, but in bed as well and think of it as perfectly acceptable. While we get that there may be misuse of rape laws that favour women (as they should), saying this implies that women use laws meant to protect to simply get lash out against exes. Which isn’t entirely true.
In fact, and this may come as a shocker to her and to the many misogynist men out there, no matter how many times you have sex, if it’s without the partner’s consent, it’s still rape. It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship or a marriage, it’s RAPE if the other person is unwilling. Maneka Gandhi may not agree with having marital rape laws in the country (some rubbish about marriage being sacred) but, I am going to say it again, it’s RAPE.
It’s worse that a woman should say something of this sort. Now, more than ever, we need women to back each other up, to lift them and support them in the causes they are fighting for. She went on to shove her foot in her mouth further. She said, “I know him better than anyone else. He has never hidden anything from me. I know what has happened in the past. He has done no wrong.” Erm, Zarina, you are his wife. You also chose to stick with him while he went on to have a public affair with an actress. And while you guys share a great relationship, what with him giving you all the details, we are pretty sure he never told you the bits where Kangana was abused (if she was) because it wouldn’t suit his narrative. You see where we are coming from, don’t you?
In May this year, Rangoli Chandel, Kangana’s sister, filed an application at the Versova police station alleging that her sister was harassed and abused by Aditya Pancholi almost 10 years ago. In retaliation or perhaps to be on the safer side, put in a counter application at the same police station accusing Kangana’s lawyer of threatening him with a rape case.
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Look, we know that Kangana and Rangoli have been on a fiery streak, going after everyone from Alia to Ranbir to Hrithik and bunch of other stars. We are not saying take their word for everything. What we are saying though, is implying that someone is screaming “rape” only because the relationship got sour doesn’t do women any favours. Zarina then went on to defend Karan Oberoi (where Pooja Bedi said that we now need a #MenToo movement) saying. “Look at how he has been treated, and locked away. I’ve worked with him in the past. He’s a decent, civilised, courteous man, “It’s frightening what a rape allegation can do to a person. If not true, it destroys a man’s reputation and self confidence. Karan will never be himself again.”
We will refrain from commenting on the case, it being in court and the outcome unknown. But when ladies, if a man is decent and courteous around you, it doesn’t discount the stories of women he wasn’t nice to. Your experience isn’t the only one that counts. Yes, a false allegation can be vindictive and ruin people but if it’s true, it ruins women’s lives, their confidence and sometimes, their will to live.
So maybe, Zarina, be more dignified, like you have been till now. We like you better that way.