8 Things You Will Relate To If All Your Friends Are Smokers!

There are many things we end up doing only because our friends want to do it. Like camping when you are a luxury vacation kind of person. Or having shots when you know you’ll end up sprawled on a carpet somewhere. One of the other things friends also enjoy doing is subjecting you to passive smoking, because isn’t that the best way to show you care? Your attempts at  hammering home the harmful effects of smoking, have fallen on deaf ears or extinguished under a shoe. Which means we have to deal with smoker friends and the many things they bring with them. So here are 8 things you will relate to if all your friends are smokers.

1. While I am not saying they are whiling away time, they do spend a majority of their time trying to fob cigarettes of off each other.  They know they are going to need a smoke. So, why don’t they carry their own cigarettes? I mean, who keeps a track of who has borrowed, how many? Or do they just have joint account to spend on smokes? Ooh…that’s genius!

2. Every few days, there is a conversation with them discussing how smoking is bad for them, their lungs and all that. This always has them nodding sagely, agreeing, and then really committing to it with the words, ‘On Monday I will quit!’ This has the success rate of ‘I will diet this Monday.’ So basically, never happens.

3. In the middle of the most interesting conversations, you must account for a smoke break. This is when a bulk of the group decides to step out, chats over smokes and misses entire chunks of conversations that happen at the table.   

4. When you are a smoker, you must carry your arsenal everywhere.  Their bags are choc-o-bloc with smoking accessories like a lighter, a matchbox, a pack of chewing gum, mints, deodorant, hand sanitisers, and of course, cigarettes. There’s barely space for a wallet or phone, but who needs that anyway.

5. Borrowing clothes is normal. Washing them after wearing them is also normal. But borrowing clothes from smoker friends comes with the danger that it could set off smoke alarms.  So you have to wash their clothes before you wear them, and after.Plus, you have to spray it with all things minty! Of course, your mom’s nose will immediately catch on to this and you’ll be asked, ‘Beta did you start smoking?’

6. Admit it, they don’t smell like a bouquet. But, most at least make an attempt to hide their smoke smell. Others completely ignore other people’s need to breathe and will reek of smoke. And their breath?  Yes, not…not good. *gags*

7. People usually get hangry.  But a smoker’s anger is fuelled by lack of nicotine and this can cause anger levels to rise quite quickly. *backs away slowly*

8. You get used to the smokers lingo, and know exactly what they mean when they ask their paanwalla for a Dunhill Switch or a Classic Mild. You are even educated on the finer nuances. Like a Navy Cut can be too strong, and Classic Mild, too woody.