#VDAY: A Survival Guide For The Brokenhearted
So you’ve just got out of a long-term relationship, or just found out the boy you were in love with has started dating someone new. Although you might not be a Valentine’s Day sort of person when in a relationship, the stigma of the day of lurrrveee is just a downer for the brokenhearted. Trust us, we’ve all been there, done that — staring at old photos, scrolling through your partner’s social media, and wondering whether or not they’ve moved. Once in our lives, we will experience what is known as a massive heartache and we will overcome it, no matter what. Whether you’ve broken up mutually, things just weren’t working out, or they were lying, cheating assholes who deserved to burn to death (a thought that did cross your mind, didn’t it?), Valentine’s Day will undoubtedly make you miss all the happy moments…even if there were more bad than good.
So instead of moping around while drowning your sorrows in ice-cream, wine, and potato crisps, here’s what you need to be doing on this day, a day that shall not be named, henceforth! Put on your big girl pants and grab life by the ummm….balls?
1. Being Single Is Liberating!
Do not, and we mean DO NOT jump the next man-bones you see. The ‘day’ is intoxicating in itself, so remember you have beer goggles on. Take singlehood in your hands and enjoy it. Make it about loving yourself…and yes, I mean in more ways than others. Being single means getting to know yourself better without another backbone. So, you need to keep chanting that you’re awesome and nobody else can get you down.
2. Focus On Yourself
This brings us to focusing on you and only you. Make the day about giving yourself that special treatment you deserve. Nope, not in bed drinking wine and crying about the good times, but actually going on a couple’s thing, but just with you! Trust us, it’s not sad…it’s liberating. Go for a movie, spa date, dinner, read a book by the beach — just do it by yourself.
3. Grab A Drink With Some Buds
When nightfall hits, grab your fellow singletons and go paint the town red. Keep technology away so that you can focus on the night, rather than drunk dial or text your ex. Sloppy texts aren’t romantic at all! And in the morning, you are going to regret it. You need to have fun and let loose, and when that happens automatically, you’ll know you’re in control and are awesome.
4. Detox from your relationship
So now is the right time to get a good detox from your past relationship. Don’t go the Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe way by almost burning your house down, but just get rid off the things that remind you of the past. Axe the ex from your social media accounts, unfollow and unfriend them if you have to, for the time being, at least. Remove and hide away any pictures, gifts, etc. (you can ask your girls to keep them away from you, until you are ready). Looking through his Facebook isn’t going to help, especially when he might have moved on already. Which will open up a whole new can of worms from you. Girl, you need to hit the delete button and realise that it’s not worth the pain.
5. Accept And Move Forward
Grief happens in 5 stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, and once you’ve hit your last stage, you know you’re ready to move on with your life. Getting there is quite a rocky road, with swivels and swirls, but when you finally reach the phase of accepting that it ended for a reason, is when you can take the reins in your hands. By moving forward, we do not mean going for the next guy you meet, but instead giving yourself time. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t bring up memories and make life harder for you — however, it should make you accept that it’s dead and buried, and those feelings shouldn’t, in any way, be rehashed.