#Trending : Actress Kani Kusruti Shares A Letter Written To Her By Her Father When She Turned 18. It Is Something We Wish All Indian Fathers Would Read.
Growing up watching Indian cinema, and my own father in my household, I always felt there to be a disconnect between the ideal father figure that we would be shown on the big screen, and the one we have to deal with back at home. Movies have always peddled the strict, patriarchs that fathers are, and the one I have is more understanding, liberal and approachable. Maybe that’s why, I had always felt a little lucky that I have a dad that didn’t dismiss my opinions and wants, but was always willing to lend me a ear and meet me halfway. I was always more of a priority for my father than society, and seems like I may have not been the only lucky one, for actress and model Kani Kusruti too was blessed with a father who went way beyond the rigid mores of log kya kahenge?
It is often said that daughters have a special bond with their fathers. And while many girls out there probably have not had the chance to say so, for their fathers have not looked at them like anything but a burden to marry off, Kani Kusruti’s father has definitely laid out some incredible father goals for all the others to not just match, but to look up to and learn from.
Sharing a letter that her father had written to her when she turned 18, Kani Kusruti may have given all of us some food for thought, for the content of that letter drafted years ago, still holds as much meaning and significance to the times we live in. And the fact that the letter transcends time so beautifully, means that it was written by someone wise and with their heart in the right place.
Talking about how now that she had turned 18, she would need to ‘coexist as an independent individual in a society made of various castes, religious beliefs, racial, ethnic, political distinctions and patriarchal privileges’. He then also went on to write unabashedly how most of the rules made by the society were in favour of men to control women as second class citizens, but that he promised to contribute towards building her physical and mental strength through this journey.
Hitting each note perfectly and honestly, Kani Kusruti’s father’s letter made us long for a note from our own fathers, for his words would be all that a girl would need to hold on to while growing up in this tough world. He then listed out a bunch of promises he made to his daughter, that included supporting her if she wanted to live separately. Supporting her through her choice of falling in love with anyone – be it a man, woman or transgender. Giving her the right to hold sexual relations, get pregnant at her own will and pace and even raise a child (or not), if that is what she deemed fit.
From supporting her choice to fall in love, to her choice to live alone, he said everything that a woman longs to hear from her parents all her life. And adding to that, he also mentioned a few requests he had from her in return. Starting by asking her to be resilient enough to see rape as violence and pull herself together from it, if it ever happens, to suggesting her to not make a habit out of smoking, and never harbouring hate for anyone, he schooled her in the most fabulous way possible.
Signing off the heartening letter by ‘trying not to be so fatherly’, he set some major father goals, we aspire all dads to take away from.