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#ThrowbackThursday: In Judaai, Why Did Jahnvi Buy A Domestically-Challenged Manchild For 2 Crores?

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When they make a film revolving around “flawed characters” they expect you to appreciate the grey tones in it. But my genuine question here is how am I supposed to enjoy audio-visual content when the characters are getting on my nerves? The leads should be likeable or relatable and if not that then atleast bearable? Unfortunately, Judaai offers no respite of the sort. But what you do get is an insecure gold digger (Sridevi as Kajal) who pimps out her husband for some cash and a spoilt woman (Urmila Matondkar as Janhvi) who thinks money can buy everything, including love. Little did she know that she invested two crores (ha ha) in a manchild (Anil Kapoor as Raj), who can’t even put a tikka on his forehead by himself. Clearly, she can’t be trusted with finances or with your husband (who knows which one she decides to buy next?)

Kajal’s biggest problem in life is that she can’t accept the fact that she is a middle class man’s wife. She keeps nagging him for not making enough money while she doesn’t even think of venturing out and maybe finding a job. In fact, she is so insecure that she lies to her old friend about living in a bungalow and get caught out. After she gets schooled, Kajal’s madness gets worse and at that point, you wonder if she is capable of killing someone to get the money. If this was a thriller, she would have!

Meet Janhvi, a woman who has returned from America and treats Raj (who works for her father) like shit because umm, manners are overrated. She’s introduced by the camera skimming her thighs and breasts because how else do you show a woman who is sexy? Anyway, Raj leaves her with her luggage,  shattered ego and a book on manners in the middle of the road. Later, he saves her from sexual assault and that’s apparently reason enough to fall head over heels in love with someone. What do you do when you like someone who is taken? I mean, the most logical thing to do is obviously buy them out like you’re buying vegetables. It seems like this was meant to be because it can’t be a baseless co-incidence that Raj is married to a gold digger who will do anything for money. What timing!

Raj, who is supposed to be righteous and all that, agrees to do two women because Kajal begins to emotionally blackmail him by starving herself. At this point, the most logical thing to do would be taking her to a mental health professional who can help her deal with issues of insecurity, being an emotional abuser and a pathological liar. But then again, logic is like an island far away from the shore of madness that this movie is. Will they be able to ship themselves to it? Time will tell but I kinda have my doubts.

When Janhvi buys Raj out like one buys a brinjal from sabziwala, she also inherits two annoying children, you know like you get free kadi patta. Except they add no flavour to her life. But as the money changes hands, you see Kajal emerging as Paris Hilton of West Delhi, with a dog as accessory. Janhvi, on the other hand, switches to sanskaar administrator mode and takes on the role of a domestic help, as a demonstration of love. I tell you, this woman is really fucked in the head. But at this point, it’s really a competition between these two crazy women and I can’t tell who’s worse.

Kajal is getting increasingly insecure because she misses being the house maid that serves the domestically-challenged husband. Sure, that’s a fun thing to do! I mean, why would I not leave money, parties and all that for being a lid of a tupperware ka dabba, important but also disposable.

While all of this is happening and you’re struggling to find a reason behind delving that deep into the film, Janhvi pulls off a tikka stunt. I swear to God I lost my shit! The husband wants Kajal to put tikka on his forehead, like everyday but both she and Janhvi have mehendi on their hands. But the superwoman here has a special superpower that we regret being a witness to. She can put tikka on his forehead using her own tikka. I am sure this was supposed to be a display of love but I threw up in my mouth a little.

ALSO READ: Throwback Thursday: Judwaa Was Dismissive Of Consent, Stupid About Twin Relationships And A Sexist Piece Of Trash

Kajal realises that she was wrong but not because you feel jealous when your husband gets another wife. Nope, the real catalyst here was she not being able to be the official house help. How dare he get another woman to worship him and take care of his needs? Of course, at the end Kajal claims her husband and children back. And Janhvi realises that she shouldn’t attempt husband-trafficking. As of Raj, he never really had a say anyway. Really, what are these humans and why did we watch a movie on their shallow existence?

ALSO READ: Throwback Thursday: I Revisited Neal ‘N’ Nikki And It’s Mainly About Bras, Horniness And Horrible Acting

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